I'M BACKK!
I hate to admit it, but my life revolves around the puter. Without it, I am nothing.
Rich borrowed the puter to print out a few documents for a silly bunch of patients. The reason why it is a massive effort to print a simple document is all because of him. Fartypants hardly pays any attention to things around him - so when he decided to print something, he remembered to turn on the printer, but had conveniently forgotten to remove my handkerchief. Due to its limited usage, I covered it to:
As a result, the document was printed on my lovely handkerchief. Printer needed to be put to rest - permanently. So...I have been without a printer for a very long time and really didn't need one. Why bother when you can print laser quality documents at work anyway?
So there is an inkjet printer at his office that functions and is attached to a spirometer. Fartypants types up his thingamajig and brings the laptop to the office to print. It's a HUGE production.
As a result, he left my beloved puter in his office. No, he does not have a desktop workstation in his office for those of who are wondering. Fartypants is so intimidated with computers that couldn't even install the hardware even though it's color coded. Because of this fact, I mess with his head. Big time.
One fine day...about 6-7 years ago, he tried to print out his slideshow for a case presentation. Because he knew nothing about Windows or General Protection Fault (GPF) errors, the system crashed and he lost his beloved document. He called me frantically at work about the incident and I decided to be very, very evil. He was so upset and didn't know what to do.
I merely explained to him that he definitely typed a combination of codes and letters which caused the computer to crash (he types by looking at the keys) as well as attributing to his bad habit of shutting off the computer without logging off of Windows. I told him that the document was forever lost since he never took my advice to save documents frequently. I even went as far as saying that his bad habit of putting his foot on the CPU contributed to the system error and how the puter might meet its early resting place. I may very well announce its time of death later that evening.
I had him shitting in his pants for the entire day. >:)
When I arrived home, he waited eagerly and probably gnawed the tops of his fingers. All I did was reboot, defrag, run CHKDSK and change the wallpaper. Fortunately, I found a copy of his document in the temp drive.
I got a Coach bag out of this one. ;o)
Rich borrowed the puter to print out a few documents for a silly bunch of patients. The reason why it is a massive effort to print a simple document is all because of him. Fartypants hardly pays any attention to things around him - so when he decided to print something, he remembered to turn on the printer, but had conveniently forgotten to remove my handkerchief. Due to its limited usage, I covered it to:
- Prevent future generation of dustbunnies
- Promote good feng shui by covering up hardware when not in use
As a result, the document was printed on my lovely handkerchief. Printer needed to be put to rest - permanently. So...I have been without a printer for a very long time and really didn't need one. Why bother when you can print laser quality documents at work anyway?
So there is an inkjet printer at his office that functions and is attached to a spirometer. Fartypants types up his thingamajig and brings the laptop to the office to print. It's a HUGE production.
As a result, he left my beloved puter in his office. No, he does not have a desktop workstation in his office for those of who are wondering. Fartypants is so intimidated with computers that couldn't even install the hardware even though it's color coded. Because of this fact, I mess with his head. Big time.
One fine day...about 6-7 years ago, he tried to print out his slideshow for a case presentation. Because he knew nothing about Windows or General Protection Fault (GPF) errors, the system crashed and he lost his beloved document. He called me frantically at work about the incident and I decided to be very, very evil. He was so upset and didn't know what to do.
I merely explained to him that he definitely typed a combination of codes and letters which caused the computer to crash (he types by looking at the keys) as well as attributing to his bad habit of shutting off the computer without logging off of Windows. I told him that the document was forever lost since he never took my advice to save documents frequently. I even went as far as saying that his bad habit of putting his foot on the CPU contributed to the system error and how the puter might meet its early resting place. I may very well announce its time of death later that evening.
I had him shitting in his pants for the entire day. >:)
When I arrived home, he waited eagerly and probably gnawed the tops of his fingers. All I did was reboot, defrag, run CHKDSK and change the wallpaper. Fortunately, I found a copy of his document in the temp drive.
I got a Coach bag out of this one. ;o)
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I spent a semester in college working as the executive assistant to a former Reagan administration hack who was a one-man consulting firm. There are people who know nothing about computers and there are people (older mostly) who still regard computers as strange objects of the devil which must be approached with a flaming torch. He was one of them. And I will never forget the day he called me to come to his posh Georgetown house, in a foot of snow when the buses were charging double fare, to play with his computer. Seems he had written something in Word and forgotten to save it. And was in a complete, total panic over being able to retrieve it. He'd restarted several times, so it was history. I checked his temp file, I checked his batches, I checked everything and the doc was just gone. That wasn't good enough for him - if the document can't be located, it must be the personal fault of the assistant - so he whipped out his gold card and had me call the $24.95/hour tech support line. While the guy was emptying his geriatric bladder I joked with the tech support guy and got him to understand look, this document is gone, this guy doesn't know what he's talking about...still it went on. That wasn't good enough either. He then whipped out the yellow pages to find a document retrieval firm whose main customers are people like the CIA to ask them to retrieve the document on his hard drive. Then (now this is totally Georgetown high society) he asked me if I would stick his laptop in his car, HIS car, and drive HIS car MYSELF on the Beltway to McLean, Virginia, so these black ops guys could retrieve the document off his laptop for $2,400.
What was the document? It was three pages of emotional rambling about his recently deceased father. Not business, not academia, not personal finances - basically a blog :) This man himself was in his sixties and his father had passed away peacefully at 93. But he was one of those grown adults who is hysterical as a teenage girl (did I mention he started a war when he was on the National Security Council and was still advocating for all-out war against Communists well into the 90s? Great, I thought, I'm working for an emotional old man who thinks Christ wants him to nuke the Devil. And this was before the Bush years.)
So all of that, during a snowstorm, to track down the emotional ramblings of a pathetic old man. And I didn't even get a Coach bag out of it, although I did get a six-pack of Kirin Ichiban on the way home for myself.
Incidentally when this guy died last year his wacko colleagues hailed him as "a true American patriot" and "a hero" - this, of a man who said my first job duty of the working day was to check his office chair to see if there was a Chinese newspaper on it, because that would mean that the Red Chinese had rummaged through his office the night before and the newspaper was their calling card. American hero. O-kaaay.
What was the document? It was three pages of emotional rambling about his recently deceased father. Not business, not academia, not personal finances - basically a blog :) This man himself was in his sixties and his father had passed away peacefully at 93. But he was one of those grown adults who is hysterical as a teenage girl (did I mention he started a war when he was on the National Security Council and was still advocating for all-out war against Communists well into the 90s? Great, I thought, I'm working for an emotional old man who thinks Christ wants him to nuke the Devil. And this was before the Bush years.)
So all of that, during a snowstorm, to track down the emotional ramblings of a pathetic old man. And I didn't even get a Coach bag out of it, although I did get a six-pack of Kirin Ichiban on the way home for myself.
Incidentally when this guy died last year his wacko colleagues hailed him as "a true American patriot" and "a hero" - this, of a man who said my first job duty of the working day was to check his office chair to see if there was a Chinese newspaper on it, because that would mean that the Red Chinese had rummaged through his office the night before and the newspaper was their calling card. American hero. O-kaaay.
You know, when I was reading this blog initially, I had assumed the document to be a 50+ page report/thesis/writeup/whatnot that absolutely needed to be saved by all means. I mean, who would spend over $2K to retrieve that?!?? Since it's only 3 pages long, it could certainly be rewritten!
Too bad he's not around anymore, it would be hysterical to leave a copy of Mao's Little Red Book on his desk. My relatives were forced to read it inside out during the height of his reign. On a more hysterical note, my dad's side of the family - country bumpkins, that they are - recycled the books as toilet paper. At least it was put to 'good' use for folks who couldn't read.
Too bad he's not around anymore, it would be hysterical to leave a copy of Mao's Little Red Book on his desk. My relatives were forced to read it inside out during the height of his reign. On a more hysterical note, my dad's side of the family - country bumpkins, that they are - recycled the books as toilet paper. At least it was put to 'good' use for folks who couldn't read.
By 
, at 7:18 PM
, at 7:18 PM
Having unpacked my boxes I'm annoyed to realize that I left "Wild Swans" in America - but I did see it in the bookstore with a new foreward, so I'll pick it up. I have never taken the effort to write a "My Top Ten Books Of All Time" list but if I did, Wild Swans would be in it.