Mikayla had a half day at school yesterday and I was greeted by her cheerfully. She asked me if she could visit Joyce's mommy at the store. Joyce's mother works at an internet cafe serving cappuccinos in Chinatown.

Joyce is Mikayla's best friend in class and the two of them are practically inseparable. They can communicate to each other in their own language (oh god) and somehow can carry on a conversation located in different areas of the classroom. For example. Miki could be seated at one end of the classroom and Joyce would be located at 3 tables away with her back towards Miki. They could STILL yap regardless of distance and placement. Surely enough, I've witnessed it. It would appear as if the kids are delusional and talking to someone they conjured up in their minds. But they're really talking to one another. It's HYSTERICAL.

Joyce did not come into school that morning and Miki somehow figured that her best friend would be at her mom's shop. So, she kept insisting that I take her to see Joyce's mommy. Not once did she actually mention Joyce, just her mother. Hmmmm...

We were walking away from the shop's direction because I needed to get something for tonight's dinner. Well, lo and behold, my daughter yanked my arm towards the shop's direction and repeatedly asked to see her best friend's mom. I told her to take a chill pill and we will visit her in a moment.

So, I took the opportunity to ask her a few questions:

Mommy: Why do you want to see Joyce's mommy?

Miki: Because I like her, that's why. (She truly does)

Mommy: So, you like Joyce's mommy?

Miki: Yah! (Very loudly)

Mommy: Do you like Sophia's mommy?

Miki: Yah! (Very excitedly)

Mommy: Do you like Michael's mommy?

Miki: Yah! (With a smile)

Mommy: Um, do you like Kristy's mommy (Grace)?

[Miki gets real quiet. She places her index finger on her chin and furrows her brow. In deep thought...]

Miki: Um, hmmm, uh, hmmm...Let me think about it.

Wow!!! She provided a politically correct response at the age of 4!!!!!!

We finally got to the cafe and she gleefully said hi to Joyce's mom (my kid can be rather aloof) . Miki went towards the back to the cafe and tried to see if she could spot Joyce on the computer. As if they consumed 2lbs of sugar, the two girls practically ripped the place apart with their high pitched shrieks and laughter. Oh boy.

More News...

There was also a rally yesterday where people were circling around the Hot 97 office headquarters protesting against the DJ host and the atrocities related to the devastation. The turnout was pretty good about 200 folks with various council members attending as well as organizations from NAACP and so forth.

Now, had this been the other way around, in terms of race; NY would've seen a massive outbreak of the Rodney King incident along with the looting, rioting and carjacking.

So...regardless of Miss Jones future, whether she continues to remain on their payroll or be removed, the radio station in itself should be entirely dropped. By allowing a member of their own organization to play such a heinous song repeatedly without any attempt to reprimand her disgusting behavior says enough. Had it not been for the public's outcry strengthened by news reporting, the whole incident would be probably have been dismissed.

After all, shit comes from above.

Unfortunately, a predominant trait that Asians tend to lose their vertebrae when injustice is done on them. If there wasn't an Asian council member presiding now, the likelihood of this issue be addressed would be nil. Without a leader, there would be no bandwagon for the eager supporters to jump on. Efforts are valiant, but scattered about.

http://www.hiphopmusic.com/archives/000759.html


I was up early this morning and watched FoxFive News report. They aired a piece regarding a parody of the "We Are the World" created by a bunch of anonymous asswipes (and you wonder why). The lyrics are extremely offensive and even racial (that's not why I'm pissed, believe it or not), but to attack the victims and mock their despondent situation is no laughing matter.

The problem with it? It was aired frequently on Hot 97 and the host, Miss Jones, opined that it was humorous. Hot 97 has made a very weak apology after a band of raging councilmembers stormed to City Hall demanding that the offensive material be taken off air. Furthermore, the local representatives publicly apologized that the city does not promote racism nor do they condone Hot 97's actions as too many members living in this city are still mourning over loved ones in Asia from the devastation.

You would think that after 9/11, there would be heightened sensitivity towards matters of doom and gloom, especially in this city.

Oyster

It all started when they found that tattered piece of cloth with the image of Christ on it. Scientifically, it was quite startling.

Then came the Madonna on the grilled cheese auctioned off on ebay for a mere $28K.

Now this.

It reminds me of those psychological brain teasers where there are two distinct images, depending on how your mind perceives it. I dunno about you, but all I see are lots and lots of barnacles on this seashell. Must be the faulty lasik surgery, I really don't see the image of Jesus Christ on it. I do, however, see him very well on those lovely canvases painted by Raphael, Titian, Da Vinci and Michelangelo. Mine eyes deceive methinks.

I'll have to see how much this puppy is going for on ebay. Another item to put on my watch list.

Chinese Ad

And I thought prostitution was illegal in China...

Hey Ma! Meet um, uh, oh, Ling Ling!

Now how do you explain a year from now these oxymorons haven't gotten married???

WTF??

Do these people have hobbies or lives? WTF is wrong with these parents? How can they support themselves and this habit? How does one morph into a size of a house? Is that why they can't leave it after 10 years?

Remember my previous rant about my kid being too scrawny? Is this how they want me to raise her??

The problem with the old Chinese thinking stems from a belief that fat people represent the rich while the peasants are thin from tilling the rice fields. Fair and lovely skin is symbolic to being beautiful and blessed with prosperity; whereas, tanned and weathered faces are synonymous with being outdoors all day foraging for food.

I hear drums beating and gongs clanging outside...

The martial arts group are outside in the ballpark field practicing their lion dance for Chinese New Year (February 9, 2005 - Year of the Rooster) .

It's freezing, only 8 degrees with a wind chill making it feel like it's -2. Such brave souls, must be a testament to their strength and endurance.

HAS THE SI-FU (MASTER) LOST HIS MIND??!! WTF?!? Are you kidding me?! The lion head itself weighs over 30 lbs, and you're practicing in this weather? Can't you do it indoors?!?!!?! The boys are gonna freeze their nuts off!!!

Subjects related to stoicism can be construed as stupidity.

One of the few things I've learned in my adult life is to never impose my philosophies & beliefs on anyone else. It doesn't matter how right I am, it's not my business. The only exceptions are made to individuals who trust me and vice versa. Even on certain occasions, it could be deemed inappropriate.

I have grown weary of people brazenly hounding me down for my so-called wisdom and time, only to discover later that they're disregarding it. I'm not saying you MUST take my advice, all I'm saying is, if you're gonna talk and cry my ear off for 4 hours, then please don't make me regret the opportunity cost of a blissful nap. For whatever the reason, people keep putting me in the position of being some seasoned individual who they can turn to. While it may appear flattering, it's hard job to take. Not that I ask for it, but I simply cannot turn people away in despair. So let them have my shoulder.

Since the advice I've provided isn't convenient or something they want to deal with, they revert back to sqaure one. Yeesh.

I have a dear friend who is stubborn as an ox and constantly defends positions based on her beliefs, fact or fiction. It mattered not whether people were right, only her limited experience weighed heavily on her outlook. So, for example, she was overworked, underpaid and stated that management needed to do something about the morale in the firm. Okay, let's take the same complaint and spin the angle - her job functions do not allow for growth, she's already getting paid on the high end of her grade level and there is nothing more management can do. So...how about looking elsewhere?

As friends, we've shared some heartfelt experiences and some personal gripes together. One of the things I tend to get annoyed at times is how she always takes my opponent's side. I, for one, prefer to side with my friend or play devil's advocate. It's a much more positive way of showing support. For argument's sake, she'd insist how my abrasive and brash behavior is the cause of the situation and uh, um, really, it's not exactly what I want to hear.

But anyhoo, I've learned to tune her out. Might as well let her live her life and she'll eventually (find out a bit later) see how it bites on her ass. She refuses to acknowledge the advice she solicits from me, so I prefer to have discussions about the sale racks in Banana Republic. On the other hand, whenever I hear words in the form of advice, I take it with a grain of salt and mentally file it...for later or never. I habitually process information to cushion myself against the changes in the weather and I've come to realize that not everyone does the same.

When it comes to matters in life, I try my best to keep my mouth shut. It's a hard task, but I have come a long way. You will never hear me say,

"When are you having kids?",
There are women who can't have kids and you may step on a land mine by asking this question. Besides, if you're not ready, then you're not ready. None of your beeswax!

"You MUST have another one!",
Are you the one giving birth and taking care of the next one? Are you contributing daycare costs for me?

"When's the wedding date?",
One of them is commitmentphobic...um...my boyfriend's gay!

or "Why haven't you guys bought a house yet?"
Um, uh, we're in debt...we're still paying for the wedding. And the car, student loans, credit card debt...

Even after you've provided your politically correct or truthful answers to the questions above, people will STILL insist on the babies, house and weddings. They'll innocently advocate their 2 cents with such gusto, you sometimes wish you could stuff a sock in 'em.

The saddest part is when reality strikes, it knocks them completely out. My friend is now experiencing some of these hard knocks in life, which of course, adds another layer of armor to her soul. Now she's actually loosened up and admitted that I was right all along. Although I don't go around saying, "I told you so," if certain opportunities do present itself; i.e. bitching and moaning sessions, the dam is removed. I don't add more salt to wound...instead, I rub neosporin on the wound roughly.

Honestly, I don't want people to experience some of the things I've seen in life...it's not exactly pretty. But if someone declares not wanting a home because of the financial beast of burden, immediately drop the topic and ask for directions on how to bake fluffier cookies. Don't pursue it by harping over the market values, decent loan rates and appreciation in value. Not only is the individual is now fixated with the Sci-Fi channel, but his/her pockets may be shallower than you think.

Even if you've faced life and death situations, it also doesn't grant you a free ticket to assume the upper hand on how people should live or breathe. Not everyone thinks and feels the emotions the same way that you do, therefore, back off. You may discuss the topic wholeheartedly if the audience is appropriate, but do realize that people may not be as mature as you are. Take what you hear with a grain of salt, determine if it's worth your battle and move on.

Okay, I've scratched off a ton of things on my To-Do list, but for some crazy reason, I'm procrastinating really badly. I have all of these packages to mail out, origami to make, ebay Terms of Agreement to read, and so forth...but I'm too busy IM'ing or writing emails. The satisfaction of typing on a normal keyboard is like music to my ears. I still haven't obtained the MS Office software to move my emails over to my new workstation. I still have two puters open and up at the same time. Yes, I'm a goober. I'll just come forth with it.

I did attempt at origami but my nails were too short and brittle to carry on. I applied polish and now have to wait at least a week for it to grow. For those of you blessed with normal fingernails, you may not realize how NECESSARY it is to have them. You can do origami on my fingernails since they're so soft. The moment I tried to pierce something down, a piece will fly across my head. I can't even make creases and have to use toothpicks or tweezers to get the job done.

Aiyah...lazy bum!

This is what happens when you're brought up in a bilingual family.

I picked up Miki from school and we were heading home from the arctic arena. We reached the main gate and a flight of steps to enter our humble abode.

Mommy: Mikayla, wait for mommy.

Miki: It's okay mommy, I can walk by myself. I'm a big girl now.

Mommy: Okay sweetie. Watch your step and be careful, the steps may be slippery.

Miki: Yes mommy, I be carefulling.

Mommy: Hehehe...Uh, say, "I'm being careful".


Gotta love the use of the Engrish language.

Well, winter finally came. After all of this time, the freezing weather finally came to town. This season has been rather wet and weird - going from being almost spring-like to monsoons galore. The past weekend has been a true testament of what I've loathed the MOST. I guess it's true. The older you get, you start losing your insulation mentally and physically and Cali is looking better than ever!

Anyhoo...this morning, I layered my kid to the extent where she could barely move. Ski pants are the staple and not necessarily worn for recreational purposes. Poor kid could barely climb up the stairs.

As for me, I HATE hats. I don't wear them because I despise flat hair. Being a member of Generation X, having big hair is an absolute necessity in life. So...if I'm wearing a hat in this weather, you know it's fricking cold.

So we're walking to school this morning and winds were gusting up to 17 mph (not fun, I assure you). While slowly crawling to school, a blast of frigid wind hit us from behind and shoved us about a foot forward. We both regained our composure and I heard a little voice. It goes like this:

When ah wind blow
When ah mother dalk
When ah wind blow
We can WORK it OUT!

It made my day.

MY KID IS NOT MALNOURISHED AND SCRAWNY.

Let's get that straight.

She's tiny because mum and dad are vertically challenged...so we're located on the other end of the gene pool, alritey?

Before I go off on my psychobabble, I've noticed that my daughter is able to differentiate two categories of Chinese people, those who know the language and those who don't. I was surprised when a someone asked Mikayla what her name was in English (with a heavy accent) and she replied back in Chinese. I've never heard her tell anyone her Chinese name except when we, the family, ask her.

So...Mikayla thinks she's 'English'. She doesn't understand the concept of race yet because I've never categorized anyone and I'd rather let the teachers do point it out. I think they have a better way to conveying this than I could. She defines Chinese people who doesn't speak proper English as 'Chinese', just like Grandma.

Of course, living in Chinatown, you'd run into all sorts of Asian characters and having to deal with an entirely different subculture down here. A lot of businesses cater to the Chinese, so you have shops and medical offices open on the weekends with plenty of walk-in's allowed. If you go shopping, there are absolutely no exchanges or returns and all sales are final. Weddings are conducted on the weekdays based on the lucky days dictated by the lunar calendar. That's how different Chinatown is in comparison to the rest of NYC.

With this type of exposure, kids are more or less cognizant of the traditions that their families are brought up in. Furthermore, the influx of illegals sailing in created a huge boom in businesses and babies everywhere. What's more frightening than anything else is the re-introduction of the pitiful "Little Empereor" syndrome. It infuriates me because they're too busy preaching the importance of having sons over daughters. Yeah, I have a BIG personal gripe over that.

Due to the one child per family policy over in China, parents have given up their their girls in cruel and horrible means in order to obtain a son. Keep in mind, the country will have major issues procreating as men don't beget children. Whoops, didn't we learn something in Biology 101? And what about those families who didn't give up their daughters? Some of these insane parents raise these girls as sons. They dress, eat and talk like a guy. Because they're only allowed to have one kid, these children spoiled rotten to the core.

In America, babies are popping out at the same rate I'm changing my bed sheets over here. The little boys are kept in the US while the girls are shipped back home to their families until they are 5 years old. By then, they'll be school-age children and hopefully potty trained. Childcare over in China is extremely inexpensive in American dollars, so girls are being punted back.

All of this has now become a staple around these parts. However, there is one element that pisses me off till no tomorrow...the complete obsession with overfeeding. This applies to everyone, not just the illegals. To the Chinese, a bungling overweight kid is a sign of good childcare. These little boys and girls can eat just as much as an adult horse and then some more. Their grandparents constantly stuff them with junk food, meats and anything they can create in their kitchens. Some children are fed to the point where they would regurgitate - to the elders, this is a clear indication of having a 'full stomach'. They have no regard to what overfeeding does to these children nor do they realize the impact this has on their self-esteem when they grow up.

My 6-year-old nephew weighed 103 lbs. He could not walk up a short flight of stairs and would attack everyone's fridge and literally clean it out. When he visited my mom's home for the first time last year, he ate everything in sight - literally. Mikayla is a slow eater and my mother caught him taking her food off of her plate. Because of his extreme size, shopping for clothing has now become a problem and is forced to wear adult sized clothing - with lots of alterations.

Now...Mikayla is about 38 lbs and almost 5 years old. Granted she's smaller than other kids her age OUTSIDE of Chinatown. If we were to gauge my kid based on the American growth charts, she actually falls on or below 25th percentile. While that may seem low, she is very solid and heavier than most of the kids in her class. There are other children who are completely off the charts which would've alarmed a non-Asian doctor.

That same woman who asked Miki what her name was, exclaimed how skinny, scrawny and tiny she is. With the mainland Chinese obsession for obese children, by their definition, I stink as a mother. Simply because I refuse to overfeed my child and make no bones about denying her of certain things. I'm not raising my kid to be a smart-mouthed brat or as enormous as Mt. Kilamanjaro. When these people start blubbering about Miki's size, yes, I do get offended. Are they saying that I don't cut it as a mom because she's not the same size as an adult? Mikayla's father politely defends her size, while I snap right back. What's so attractive looking like a house?

Face it, give up the Little Emperor syndrome because it doesn't work on American soil.

I would be VERY scared if Miki was just as big as Georgie. OY!!

All these years of experiencing such bouts of animosity and deplorable situations was all because of jealousy. My former asswiping manager, Colleen (aka - dogzilla, roadkill, and the cow), used to make my life a complete living hell because we mutually hated each other. It never occurred to me that I was a threat to her. It's not because I wasn't confident about my own abilities, instead, I was specifically told by the atrocious cow that my work barely met expectations. She'd publicly humiliate me, steal my ideas, and held back vital information necessary to complete these high level projects.

The fat cow deliberately set me out to fail.

As the heavens would have it, I formed strong alliances with many people externally. They were more than ready and willing to help, so I was able to pick up the pieces and go about independently. It was a long and grueling process, but I prevailed.

What I didn't fathom was how my determination to succeed angered her. All I wanted to do was do my job, go home at a decent hour, and spend time with my little baby. At that point in my life, I had no desire to move up on the corporate ladder and desperately wanted to have a simple 9-5 job. NOT. Problems at home were brewing and she assumed that my aloof behavior was due to our strained working relationship. While it is not a mandate that I come into work with a toothy smile, she went on with diabolical antics assuming that my shitty attitude was displayed purposefully and spitefully at her.

Anyway, the both of us got reorg'ed into this whacked out customer service initiative in which she departed the firm only 3 months later. Prior to the reorg, Colleen publicly slandered my boss, Barbara, in the most malicious way possible. They hated each other's guts. Well, well, well...be careful who you trash because you may just end up working for that person. Hee-hee. I got along fabulously with Barbara and shared feng shui stuff from time to time.

Since the cow was composed of pure negative energy, I always wanted to know why she wanted me to eat dirt. Being an excellent judge of character, Barbara revealed to me why the cow was treating me like some heinous leper -

• For a manager, it turned out that the cow only made $8K more than I did - not impressive since she has a Masters degree in MIS
  
• The size of clothing I wore represented 15-20% of her own size
  
• I was the "favorite" amongst senior management (so she couldn't stab me)
• Favorite amongst business partners (she pissed most of them off)
  
• Had the same friends (so she didn't have any 'one-ups')
• Had a baby (she was itching for one)
• Had seniority (I was in the department longer than anybody else)
• I knew my stuff (had ACTUAL cash management experience)
  

According to Barbara, the cow was jealous of me. Even to this day, I don't really see why or how. Although she was a horrible person, her work was impeccable. I adopted some of her techniques simply by means of observation. She spoke well, understood the business she supported, and constructed excellent emails. I struggled for HOURS to craft an email, while the cow would only take 20 minutes to complete. Her strengths were my weaknesses since my former line of work was primarily operational. My interactions with the outside world were limited, so it was none of their beeswax when people inquired about my job functions. Everyone hated the cow for her nastiness, but I actually gave her the benefit of the doubt and would regard her highly because of the work she did.

Fortunately for me, I did have a saving grace. Whilst I was drowning, one of the most brilliant and competent Systems guys helped me through this muck. Although it was not his line of work or business, he was actually kind enough to guide and teach me the ropes of my own goddamned job. So each time she tried to drown me, my partner in crime would either bail my ass out or I'd fling her with 180 degree CYA karate chop. To this day, I am forever indebted to Paddy for saving my flat ass and helping me develop these survival skills. It's this very guidance has helped established my reputation.

But when I moved to the new CS group, I thought my troubles were over. In fact, I was received by a MUTATED version of the same crap. Barbara warned me that the group (and the rest of the department) was comprised of immature and jealous individuals who held vicious grudges. I blindsided at first, but dammit, she was RIGHT. Oh my god, I have NEVER encountered anything so FUBAR. Out of 9 people in the group (including myself), 5 people HATED my guts. They were blazingly jealous of me and I could not understand why. It wasn't as if I insulted their moms for donning combat boots or called them names growing up. There was no logical rhyme or reason.

Barbara twisted my head around and pointed out the asinine and catty things they were doing. Unintentionally so, I made them look inept because I would crank my work out with ease and met my deliverables ahead of schedule. After Colleen put through me hell, these jobs did not challenge in the same way. I did not have to exert much effort and was amazed how much time I had to myself. Fearing boredom, I would read up on the materials provided in my new role. Besides, it was EXPECTED of me to behave this way since I wanted to get promoted again.

Well, when I finally got to know these retards, it became clear to me why there was such loathing. Like it's my fault...really!

• Single and DESPERATE for a man
  
• (Take my husband, please!)
• DESPERATELY wanted a rock on their finger
  
• (It's no big deal, really.)
  
• They were big girls who still had a lot of weight to lose
  
• (Is it my fault that I'm a size 4 and don't feast on potato chips?)
  
• Their biological clocks were gonging every minute
  
• (Is it my fault that I already had a 3 yr old and that she was kinda cute too?)
  
• Wanted attention
  
• (Trust me, I didn't ask for that one)
  
• Hated being unmarried in their 30's
  
• (That really ain't my problem)
  
• They struggled in their jobs while I didn't
  
• (Is it my fault that my IQ was higher than theirs and completed college?)
  

Upon this discovery, I concocted a wickedl plan to piss them ALL off. I dug up EVERYTHING in my closet and decided to display 'the goods' just to have fun. One of my beautiful girlfriends, Jessica, even offered me her gorgeous engagement ring (1.5 - 2 ct wt) to wear on my right hand just for fun - a rock for each hand!!! Out came out my Prada, Burberry and Furla bags, Tag Heuer watch, Anne Taylor suits, and whatever designer bullshit I acquired during my pre-baby days. All of it was stashed away due to its impracticality and the firm had gone business casual.

OMG, I never realized the magnitude of my actions and now I can understand why Barbara comes in with her designer bags and slutty boots. Because she used to be the target of jealousy, she knew how to initiate pissing matches with everyone. Oh god how I worship this woman! Not only does she put up a good fight, she's very sophisticated in the way she carries herself. From that point on, I understood the methods of Barbara's madness and why she became the talk of the town!

Of course, while I added fuel to the fire, it burned high and crisp into the air. They would trash everything related to me, right down to the flowers I received for my birthday or I how didn't deserve to have such a cute kid. I gloated and smirked at these awful women while my mind was swearing up the wazoo. Since I knew I was leaving, I was rubbing it in harder and harder. Two can play the game.

After Barbara went on leave, our group and initiatives literally went down the potty. There were only a select few people who knew that I was ready to split my ass outta there. It was bad enough that I over-extended my stay by 2 months and to discover the two women whom I trusted were hiding their jealous emotions over my departure. To them, the ideal situation would be to stay at home and not having to work at all. They wouldn't let me complain about staying another day because it's only one more day/week/month. It was okay for them to incessantly bitch about something or someone, but it wasn't okay for me to rant about having to trudge from the cold and into work. Even now I still sense the bitter aftertaste left behind.

I have a theory as to why I'm blinded by all of this. Methinks that growing up as a mousy and average kid with geeky glasses has plenty to do with it. I was never the cute or smart girl in the class - in fact, my middle name should've been Wallpaper. There wasn't anything extraordinary about me, didn't possess any musical talent, nor did I have excellent grades. I was a mediocre kid with a pretty fantastic imagination. So, who on earth would be jealous of moi??!!

The only place on earth where I truly made my mark was at work. When I finally figured out how to take things up another notch (it wasn't an overnight discovery, mind you), things started to shake and move. Even at that point, who'd be jealous of me? It's only job fer cryin' out loud. I was fiercely competitive...but only to myself. I set very realistic goals for myself to achieve and pushed myself over the limit to prove (my family still believe that us girls don't need to be well educated because our husbands are supposed to support us) that I could succeed in life on my own. I never compared nor competed with anyone because I believed in fate and karma - so, to each his/her own.

Lisa and I analyzed these situations and we pretty much concluded that these people are dysfunctional imbeciles. The whole thing is pretty stupid and will remain as such. Even today, they're rotting and hating me for escaping the muck they're trapped in. Gotta love it.

Had I stayed...it is probable that I would never enjoy with my recent discoveries and former loves. I would've missed out on ELAHE's release, the concert and even Mikayla growing up. This is how foul that place has now become.

Oy.

Yesterday, I decided at the very last minute to have lunch with my buddy, Terry Fong (I have too many friends named Terry) and as always, we'd have a blast. We share the same humor, work experience, and a whole lot more. One of the reasons why we get along so well, is simply because we both love playing practical jokes on other people. I know it sounds corny at this day and age, butI have been known to pull a few memorable stunts in the past. As a result, Terry and I feed off of each other's frenzy whenever we see each other.

Terry was introduced by a mutual friend of ours a few years back. Since then, we have shared a huge lot of jokes and retarded moments regarding our co-workers. He'd plaster toilet paper all over his colleagues' monitors while I remove his track ball from his mouse. Since I returned to Fido yesterday, it was inevitable that everyone would come and say hi to me and wonder WTF I am up to.

I decided to pay homage and see another friend of mine in the Systems group while Terry went to the boy's room. There were a few folks huddling around Srini's cube and I mentioned about the good ol' days where Terry would strategically placed dampened toilet paper on Kita's monitor. No sooner had I mentioned it, Terry approaches the area and tosses a wad of toilet paper at Srini. Instinctively, Srini actually CATCHES the damned thing since athletic folks have excellent responses due to their exceptional hand-eye coordination. But that doesn't mean they pay any attention to what's coming at 'em. Of course had it been me, it would've landed on the floor. I can't catch anything if my life depended on it. I was one of those kids who flunked gym and was a full-time benchwarmer.

I made my way back to Treasury and was greeted very warmly by my former peers. Thankfully, Tami (SVP, vile bi-otch, and a.k.a. Castro) was not in the area, so I extended my stay and chatted with a few favorite people. It was very nice to see their soft sides again, not the harsh, wretched and stressed souls they have become. Had I remained, I'd be a bitter and an eternally depraved hound for life. The minute I stepped into the area - it was like entering hell/purgatory. The negative energy I felt oozed from through their pores with a putrid sense of doom.

I kid you not, but as soon as I left, my hands felt FILTHY. It was as if I went shopping and rummaged through a pile of vintage clothing in the storeroom filled with cobwebs. All I did was go from one cubicle to the next and I can't scientifically explain how my hands felt so dusty and gritty. However, a feng shui specialist would say that the poisonous yin energy in the area clung onto me and I was trying to deflect it. Like having OCD, I rushed to wash my hands in the nearest sink.

Looking back, I realized that even your fiercest enemies would switch alliances when it comes to corporate politics. People whom once appeared decent and proper have now morphed into nasty and agressive individuals. I couldn't believe it, but I can now see their alter egos as clear as day. Being an external observer gives me the ability to see how bad things have become in Treasury. Gone are the niceties, strive of teamwork excellences or loyalty. Now it's all about me, myself and I.

So, Mikey made an interesting remark about my current 'job'. He says that people are all jealous and want me to rot in the same nightmare they're experiencing. Hah. Ptphphhtbbbhtphphthh!!! [blowing raspberries LOUDLY]

As negative as my experience was in Fidelity, I took it up to a whole different level. While I was cleaning urinals, I still made good friends and alliances which literally saved my ass. I refused to believe that you couldn't have fun at work. I had a great boss in my last position which proved my theory true.

Reeling back to Treasury, the morale and environment tumbled downhill thanks to new senior management. Because I was reorg'ed out of the area, I no longer reported into Castro's world. To prevent my new unit from executing our corporate initiatives, she trashed my reputation, slandered and raised hell to the President of the company. Nice. I felt warm and fuzzy about it...considering how stupid loyal I was to her during my stint working for her(we're talking, oh about, maybe 6-7 years?).

Why she trashed me? Oh, because I 'prematurely' congratulated Castro on her promotion. Yeah. Plus, she despised my boss, so she'd ANY opportunity to start a nasty fight.

In the past year, competent and brilliant people have left the group because of how bad things have become. Everyone is overworked, unappreciated, and worst of all, feels threatened. The area has become hostile and cold...like perestroika. No one is happy and the stress levels are almost unbearable. Furthermore, families and personal relationships have been torn apart since work has now compromised and entered into everyone's personal life. It's quite disturbing to see so much unhappiness under one roof. The last time I felt like this was 9/11, but that's a whole other ball of wax. One was a poignant and evil tragedy, on the hand, this is synthetically constructed wretchedness.

So, kudos to all of you who don't let your jobs run your life. Take it with a grain of salt if your job stinks and keep it outside of your home.

If ain't handbags, shoes or clothing, I can still find something to buy. Earlier last year was a bunch of storage and organization stuff, pieces of inexpensive furniture (better than Ikea grade and cheaper shipping by homedecorators.com) , and crafting supplies.

Now I've moved onto origami paper. Lots and lots of it. It's a little too scary.

A while back, I went through a phase of buying British chick lit books (I'm sorry, but I cannot borrow crap from the library...the sh*t inside is absolutely repulsive!), tarot cards and beauty products.

Sheer proof of my innate foraging skills. Now I need a job that will support my scrapbooking craze!

Bad Habits by Astrological Sign

Come on people, you know you love me for my brutal honesty. After all, how many of you called me up just so I can rag on you?

Ta-ta!

Um...Okay, I can be a bit dramatic at times.

Well, this is what I learned thus far, when your gut tells you to be excessively lazy and not help others or your intuition scream at you to nip issues at the bud - just do it.

I got snowballed yesterday with a bunch of little issues that are indirectly related to me. One, is about a loan that was made to my cousin over a year ago. My mom nagged the living shit outta me and I gave in. Moms have an excellent way to getting to your skin simply with the way they stare at you and their voices. I personally hate giving loans to Commie relatives because it's a bitch to get it back. They'll make excuses for not making payments and even look elsewhere to fulfill their debt. Like if they found out that someone else owed me money, then they'll transfer their debt over to them and have me seek out payment to another party. It's like refinancing through the use of your local gene pool.

What my mom has a hard time understanding is that her siblings can be complete and utter dogs. Thankfully my brother and I have a fantastic relationship, but I think if you have too many siblings, things get to be a bit hairy. I've always disliked my uncle's family, even to the point of hating them all, because his daughter slighted me deeply 10 years ago. Although I've forgiven, I certainly did not forget. So when her younger brother needed funds for his wedding, he turned to mom and whined like a baby. She, in turn, fell for their ploy (as always) and gave in. I usually let her deal with this kind of stuff, but she's not here this time. So now, I have the daunting task of assuming the role of the bill collector. Yuck.

Next, I have to go up to Rich's office and reprimand one of the receptionists for poor performance. Now, I hate confrontations, large or small, and would rather run than to face the situation. I guess the reason why I decided to become a manager was to learn how to overcome this fear of confrontations. Although I'm over it for the most part, I would rather prefer not to deal with it if I could.

I've been meaning to speak to his receptionist, but he did not want me to override his authority and make him look like a schmuck. But enough is enough. We're not paying her to come in late, have a pissy day and pick and choose her tasks. Although he has spoken to her, there's difference between telling them and telling them off. What iggs me is that he makes no bones about me pissing him off, but he can't tell it to a 21 year old girl who's still dreaming about a knight in a shining armor come barging through our office door. Grace, being a seasoned worker, is partially aiding to her tardiness by not speaking up. If I were in Grace's shoes, I'd be pissed to no tomorrow if I had to stay 10 minutes later each day because you couldn't haul your ass in on time.

And everything in my apartment needs maintenance work. So...I'm busy this week and I haven't done any crafting since October. For a while, I was preoccupied with the TFF's ELAHE release and it was a whole ton of fun. Now that the hype has quieted somewhat over here, I'll be revisiting my craft again. All I've done is buy paper off of ebay and haven't done anything with it!

Oh crap. I forgot to go to the bank again. If it ain't written down, it ain't gettin' done.

So far, I've been so lazy that I have nothing blogworthy. However, I've been meaning to put a bunch of Miki moments under one umbrella rather than sending occasional emails throughout the year. This one is quite amusing:

When Mikayla was in nursery class earlier last year, her teacher (who also happens to be a good friend of mine) always gave homework to the kids. One of the ways to have a child exercise their vocabulary and master the art of communication was to have Show and Tell assignments. Every week there would be a theme where a child would bring in an item and describe to the class. Keep in mind that the class is comprised of 3 - 4 year olds and the difference in age do mean a lot when it comes to development - even by a few months.

So...her themed subject was the letter 'S'. You had to bring something to school that started with that letter and describe it. The first thing came to her mind: SPONGEBOB!!!!

Uh...hell no. Momny LOATHES the cheesy yellow thing. So I negotiated with my child. How about 'S' for song? Like "Shout"? And she agreed! YESSS!!! So, her topic was S is for Song and Singers...her favorite singers were Curt and Roland (she didn't understand that they were called 'Tears for Fears' at the time and would refer to them as 'Sun' because of the cover of the TEARS ROLL DOWN video compilation), her favorite song was "Shout" and it was performend by 'Sun' (TFF was a mouthful for her, so I let it go).

Unfortunately, she never got to do her Show and Tell piece because she fell sick at the time. But I would've peed in my pants just to hear her talk about it. I'll try to see if I can pull it off in this year's Pre-K class!!!!! I want it videotaped!!!!

I know, I know, what a psycho mom.

My, my, my, Bible Studies was taught oh so well.

Okay, this happened on Monday and I really wanted to blog this sooner, but I had to pay my bills. Apparently in the midst of my laziness, shopping frenzy and school participation, I had FORGOTTEN all about 'em. I pay them twice a month, so I missed the boat on the second half. Whoopsie.

I've been hanging out with a bunch of moms from school (since my regular hang-out crew is still in the rat race). Like with everything in life, there's the good, the bad and the butt ugly. I've weeded out a lot of people because I refuse to be near those that are venomous, vicious and again, butt ugly. They try to enlist me to join their heinous club of social bigots while waiting for their kids to get out of school at 5PM. These witches don't work, want to know about everyone's business and try to cast evil spells on the nice and simple working class folks. Worst of all, they schmooze over to me because they somehow found out that Mikayla's dad is a physician.

Their actions disgust me. I believe in being financially independent and having your own individuality...so my blood boils when they add emphasis on his title. [WTF?] But I let them think what they want. In the past, I have learned that sometimes giving your opinion will assist these leeches in the process of improving themselves. My role in this karmic realm is not for their added benefit. Indeed it is a luxury to be a stay-at-home mom, but only to some extent. I'm primarily home to recover from a decade of corporate burnout. Unfortunately, these people sure know how to put a bad name into being a "home economist". [I hate the term homemaker or housewife. It's such an empty reference for a woman.]

So, I try my best to dodge away from them. Then I meet up with the "normal" folks...but when you get to know them, they ain't too normal either. There seems to be a higher number of basket cases in Miki's school than at work. Methinks it has much to do with being raised in a Chinese family where flexibility is encouraged for the wrong reasons and inflexibility is proof of discipline and predictability. Basically, try not to think out of the box, okay? Just do what I say because I say so.

So now, there's this mom I hang out with, Grace, who's extremely congenial, but a tad bit too anxious about all matters in life. She's like white on rice with everything, goes to extremes in any issue, large or small. I felt somewhat indebted to her because she'd furnish photos of Mikayla in many of the school events. Grace captured a lot of the memorable moments of Miki during my absence. To reciprocate her kindness, we'd accommodate her daughter, Kristy, on school trips. After all, one hand does wash the other.

She seemed peppy and extremely helpful and one day, I asked her to have lunch with me. We hung out on a few more occasions and it was nice to finally talk to another parent [most of my friends aren't even married] about kids and stuff. But with each meeting, a new and rather shocking story would unravel about Grace. On her own accord, she'd reveal her inner secrets which ladened me with the burden of trust. It's not so much that I couldn't handle it, I just did not want the responsibility especially from a woman I hardly knew. Ironically, many of her experiences parallel mine.

Last summer, I invited them over for a playdate. After two playdates, it was clear that Mikayla was not keen with Kristy and was unusually intimidated by Grace. Although this may sound odd, my daughter is actually an excellent judge of psychic character [that's a whole other story as there is a rather deep explanation - our culture believes in previous lives and personal auras]. However, I do gauge Miki's response towards people as she cannot articulate her feelings at this age. Acknowledging her stress, I made excuses for them not to come over.

Although Grace is extremely helpful, this very attribute can be overbearing as well. She can not seem to comprehend that there are people in this world do not wish to be helped. And...most importantly, not all deeds will be reciprocated equally. Thus, she failed to learn this lesson (especially when she paid an extremely high price on it) and will forever be exploited by people whom she tries hard to please. Moreover, Grace is under the impression that people will appreciate you based on your actions, which I know for a fact, is not always the case. Whenever you do something nice to her, she attempts to return the favor by exceeding the value of what you've given to her.

As my friend Chie put it best - I don't feel sorry for these people because they're basically asking themselves to get screwed.

I have no qualms telling her off when she goes on with her boisterous rants and raves, but I end up with a migraine when spending a moment's time with her. An unusually high population of parents ostracize her because of bluntness and overly hyper behavior. Because apples don't fall far from the tree, Kristy emulates her mom's demeanor.

The one thing she's managed to conceal about herself is her status as a single mom on welfare. Some people are extremely sensitive about being in that situation, as society tends to place brutal stereotypes and assumptions about these folks. I, for one, never discriminate on those grounds especially since a good number of my childhood friends grew up under those circumstances.

To further hide her social status, she denies her daughter nothing. Unfortunately, the child is ungrateful and spoiled to the point of having shrieking tantrums in public. Most children, however spoiled, will leave their feral tantrums at home because parents don't allow this behavior past their doors. Because of this, I try to keep Miki away from them - Kristy actually had the nerve to throw a fit in my own home. Although Grace tried to calm and discipline her child, moving the boundaries will only fuel the fire. Don't ever bluff with your kid...ever.

After one single episode, my child went from being mild mannered to a screaming freak and stamped on her foot on the floor when I gave her a time-out. Because she saw how Kristy reacted to get something her way, Miki obviously mimicked the same actions to have me 'cave in'. Oh no, no, no, no...wrong person to pick on.

I don't mind giving Grace a few extra things or treating her to a few lunches from time to time. Whenever appropriate, she tries to reciprocates with coffee or something for Mikayla. She's not a moocher, but openly needy. Unfortunately, she has the inability to refrain from displaying her materialistic neediness in the public eye. Because of this, she has a tendency think out LOUD. Oy.

Ironically, you give Grace something, she does not exemplify her namesake or finesse [this is what irks me so...]. Now, I know this sounds extremely harsh coming from me. I have always enjoyed giving to people a sentifmental or practical gift. I was programmed by my parents to give and not to ask (the latter sucks, btw!). It delights me to bring a warm smile to someone's heart and I love buying or making origami crafts for people.

HOWEVER, I despise and loathe moochers. Unfortunately, my relatives are predominantly comprised of moochers and would only call if they needed something. My mother would force me to drop everything (even exams during college) to run half-assed errands for my family. This is what you get for being the only schmuck in the family who speaks English. But that's another rant. Do I get a word of thanks? Of course not. My relatives saw my family's generosity milked it to their advantage. Why? Because charity can be construed as a free ride for the Chinese. Yet another rant. I was crushed 'cuz it hurts to know that your generosity is seen to be a form of stupidity. Since then, I have been cautious about who I would exert any effort for.

In Grace's case, she means well, but her needy factor has now breached my nervous system. Grace currently works in Rich's office part-time and has been eyeballing his sample meds from the moment she walked in [it's not as if she personally takes them, although I can opine how she could use some Zoloft or Prozac]. Reading her emotions, I specifically warned her NOT to ask for the samples as they are intended for patients (you think?).

On Monday, I asked Rich to give me some extra samples of Lipitor for my mother because my uncle will be visiting China next week. Since my mom's supply has been depleted, I figured I could take some from the office in the meantime. Grace overheard my request and immediately pounced on it as well. I shot her a nasty look, recanted the samples, and asked him to give me a script instead. Rich being in an awkward situation, told her to take a handful and leave enough for him. Pissed as hell, I snapped at Rich in our native Chinese dialect (I speak two dialects fluently), to save him a bit of face. I chewed his ass out regarding this so-called generosity because Grace has a bad habit of taking more than a fair share of the pie.

Literally, she took a handful. Instead of taking 1 or 2 packets of Lipitor, she took 5 for her dad. I was not pleased. I don't even take the samples for my own mother and make her pay for her meds. I made an exception in this case due to the policies dictated by the insurance company - certain drugs can only be prescribed 1, 2 or 3 months at a given time. Since it is still undetermined when my mother will return, I didn't want my mom's internal system go kablooey. I was completely put off by Grace's evident eagerness for these samples.

The first time I realized this behavior was also in Rich's office. During last summer, I stopped by to drop something off and she spotted my little pile of origami stars I folded from straws. Those were a BITCH to make. Grace oooh'ed and ahhh'ed over them and I offered her to take some. Out of 45 stars, she only left me 5. Here comes the needy part... by demonstratively behaving this way, she goes on her dribble drabble (to me) about being unlucky and unprosperous to afford any luxuries in life. Some of the nasty moms at school acutely noticed this and completely trash Grace behind her back [seems like we're back in high school again].

Another irksome episode - one of the insurance companies left an enormous bag of marketing 'goodies' for mass distribution. I asked her whether or not she was interested in some, and she gladly took 3/4 of the bag. Hmm...I think it summed up to about 50 penlight keychains, 40 cheesy pens, and 25 bandage holders. Let's not hold back, shall we??? Even though these were freebies, I was rather annoyed. Then she proceeded to ask me for a larger and durable bag to contain the items. In truth, what does one do with so many pen lights?!?!!?

Okay, okay, I know that I was the one who OFFERED the stars, keychains, and all the whatnot, but most people don't usually take nearly everything! The only time I've seen this happened to me was my former boss, Jim, who LOVED dim sum and happily shoved 2 mini steamed pork buns in his mouth and grabbed two more for each of his free hands. Now that's one content and fed Irishman. Of course, Jim's actions were EXPECTED. We all love him no matter what. But that's whole other ball of wax.

But here's another case where I did NOT hand out my freebies. Gracie came by one day and saw all of my scrapbooking stuff strewn all over my apartment. I have a bad habit of leaving my supplies out until I am completely finished with the current project. So...that being said, I had just received a nice, big package in the mail from my ebay seller loaded with scrapbooking goodies. I was testing my new toys out when she arrived at my front door (unexpectedly). She admired my work and was again, in awe, with my ability to create interesting and whimsical pieces. Then she goes, "This is GREAT! Because you have all of the scrapbooking supplies already, I'll just come over and use them!"

Erm...did I invite you? Where on my forehead did it say, "FREE SUPPLIES AVAILABLE FOR USE"? I mean, I was only showing her my stuff and the items required to create these pages because she ASKED. Thank goodness I was in a fair mood that morning or else I'd erupt in a wicked pissing match. So I turned the tables around and said with a clenched jaw:

Linda: Sure. But do you know what you're going to do and how you plan to create your scrapbooking pages?

Grace: Uh, no. I'm not very creative or artistic. I usually like to buy stuff that's already been made.

Linda: Ah well, a lot of this stuff takes a lot of time and thought. Not all pages I make are finished in a day. Sometimes it'll take me a week. I sometimes just prime a background and come back to it a few weeks later.

Grace: Oh.

Okay, this is one long and bitching blog. But hell, I'm pissed!

Furthermore, Grace lacks individuality. Her stagnant self dwells on the past and cannot move forth in the future. Her blinders are cemented on her head which she refuses pry them off. I became weary of being the sole source of entertainment and the woman hardly cracks a funny joke or an interesting moment in her life. Due to the fact she also takes things so literally, I am forced to outline the specifics or else statements becomes misconstrued. In October, I accompanied Chie to Duran Duran's in-store signing (Times Square) at the crack of dawn and asked Grace to watch Mikayla since school officially opened at 8:30AM. People had wondered why Miki was with Grace and queried my whereabouts. She 'gracefully' blurted out that I went to get concert tickets instead of saying that I had some business to attend to. Oy.

Last but not least, this may sound utterly and totally new-agey, but she has a serious effect on my feng shui energy within my home. It's like putting a large magnet on top of your hard drive and it just scrambles the circuitry. Each time she comes over, something unsettling would erupt within my household. I would get into hissing matches, lose my patience with everyone, have unfortunate kitchen accidents during cooking, etc. It sounds whack, but it's absolutely true. How can I make such an absurd statement? Future blog.

Bitch Rant is OVER! Did it help your insomnia?

I heard something pretty interesting on the news, to say the least.

Because of the Tsunami tragedy out in Asia, the Hong Kong superstars are goinng to band together to produce a Chinese re-make of "We Are the World". The initiative is to raise funds to provide relief for the countries devastated by this horrific act by Mother Nature.

Some of the top HK celebrities involved are: Jackie Chan, Andy Lau (HOT) and Jacky Cheung (YAY!).

Believe it or not, Jackie Chan can really, really sing. Very well, in fact. Not only can he try to kick your ass, he's even produced a number of albums in the past 2 decades. [Notice that I stated 'try' - Jackie Chan studied entertainment fighting, which is not martial arts. Basically, Jet Li rules and can easily flip Jackie with his pinkie toe.]

The interesting thing about these mega celebrities in Asia is that they are incredibly talented. Unlike the Americans, in order to succeed and outshine your competition, one needs to be able to act, belt out original tunes or flip somebody out of the window with ease. Being a multi-dimensional in the entertainment industry allows these folks to survive on the market longer.

In the American culture, having an actor who can do it all is rare and even frowned upon. Then again, some of these actors/actresses who try and sing should shut their faces. Let's take Don Johnson, for example. He actually came out with a song called, "Heartbeat" in the 80's and it was worse than the one-hit wonders. In fact, when the chorus came on, it'd make your skin crawl. Because he was such a popular actor on 'Miami Vice' does not equate with being a talented singer. Uh-uh. No way.

But when you have someone who can do both it's a pleasant surprise. Although I haven't seen Moulin Rouge, critics did say Nicole Kidman could sing - after all she was in some girlie Aussie band before coming over to the States.

So...I will patiently wait to hear the Chinese rendition of "We Are the World". I dunno if I will like it, but if Hacken Lee (how the F#$% did he come up with this name?!?!) is a participant, I'm all ears. But wait, who's gonna do Cyndi Lauper's version? Oh my.

One thing that cracks me up about HK popstars - they come up with the most preposterous "English" names proving once for all, how they don't pay any attention in their English classes in school. How the F#$%@ they even pass their 'O' levels? Oh wait, they didn't...

Like there's one really HOT actor called Ekin Cheng. Originally his name was NOODLE Cheng. Yes, I kid you NOT. Of all fricking food groups, he was compelled to call himself after generic term for carbohydrates. Oy. Okay, in his defense, his Chinese name rhymes with E-Fu Noodles (an expensive pan-fried noodle dish), so everyone called him "Eee-Mein" for fun. Hence, Noodle Cheng. But to me, it sounds more like a name of a chinese restaurant out here in Chinatown.

Anyhoo, his 'English' name made him look like a moron and changed it - yes, brace yourself - DIOR. Yes, Dior. No, he was not a fan of Christian Dior, but it made him felt cooler 'cuz he decided to use a name from a designer brand. As if I would change my name from Linda to Gucci because it's designer.

Again, more ridicule. So...finally the good-looking, but not exactly bright dude, settles with 'Ekin'. Basically, stick with your original name that was phonetically transcribed in English.

I got a new workstation this past weekend and is pretty much done with the basic setup. I need to take it up another notch by having my buddy to load some serious software for me. So now...I would be typing away at my Dell puter, while reading my emails with my laptop sitting adjacent to my new system.

I know, I know...the whole thing looks retarded. Two nights ago, Miki was watching her Spongebob DVD on my computer (because my DVD player is comatose) and I was chatting online with my friends on my laptop. I practically elbowed my kid around.

At least it works!

I really do love typing on a regular keyboard. I absolutely have to hear the keys go tap, tap, tap. I can now succesffully play one of those online Yahoo games to determine my actual typing speed. I couldn't beat the game because I never trained myself to type the numbers located on the top row of the keyboard. I can type them on the number pad with great speed. My last score was 98 wpm...let's see how do it this time!

GEEK!

Just wanna wish y'all a happy and healthy new year. For those of you who had a tough time last year, hopefully the new year will ring in a smoother sailing and a blissful one..

Ciao! Love y'all!

P.S. - Got a brand new workstation today...Very busy trying to set it up right now...