This is replaying all day and night in my head and there's a message for me in it, but I haven't deciphered which line is affecting me now. Any suggestions?

here on the stage the time has come with the strains of "be my angel" of rock in two four time may keep alive that old swan song that we've been playing forever till the time may be right to say goodbye my voice is aching, i'm tongue tired and the sounds we are making are so uninspired goodnight song, played so wrong blame the crowd, they scream so loud, so long get some honesty take the best of me and then the rest let go in every situation with its tireless rage step outside your cage and let the real fool show i should have stayed round to break the ice i thought about it once or twice but nothing ever changes unless there's some pain and our... goodnight song, played so wrong blame the crowd, they scream so loud, so long goodnight song, played so wrong blame the crowd, they scream so loud, so long

Okay, I dragged my bony ass out of denial and decided to face the nasty facts of life.

I was consumed by anger, disappointment and every emotion which would generally make anyone a mopey individual. Being in such a state, I didn’t have the gusto, energy, or even the passion to pick up a battleaxe and swing it at someone. I was really exhausted.

Plus, it didn’t help having parents think that I’m a chronic complainer – it irritated me to no tomorrow how people found me to be a great speaker, but was too fanatical for their tastes. Parents were saying, “Oh yeah! Go ask Linda to complain on your behalf, she’s real good at that.”

Go and fricking kiss off, you dimwad.

There was one other issue I could not contend with: Fear. Yes, fear. People actually thought by challenging the teacher or the principal it would bring the downfall of their child’s academic career. OMFG – THIS IS FKING AMERICA PEEPS! LAST TIME I CHECKED, WE’RE NOT IN CHINA!!

So the fight was all on my own. I decided to address an easy issue by approaching one of the head assistants of the school regarding Chinese lessons taught during the afternoons. It was ridiculous to have my child try and write the characters - today, tomorrow, and yesterday - WITHOUT appropriate instruction. Besides, those Chinese characters were out of her league when she could be learning easy words like: people, big, small, back and front. Whatever happened to those characters?!
The principal responded back to the meeting minutes by distributing a note to all parents in our class. She stated that the school is upholding their mission by meeting State requirements and if we click on the hyperlink, we can CLEARLY see that our kid’s learning development is supposedly on par with it. Instead of discussing it privately with me what her action plan would be, she simply defended the current and pitiful position with this stupid notice.

You wanna know what’s the saddest shit of all? She friggen plagiarized my wording from the meeting minutes. She turned all of the negative statements into positive ones by using the same tone and vernacular. I must be so good that she needed to reuse them.

Because of the recent changes in our medical office, I was preoccupied with medical billing and establishing a proper internal network for the new desktop. I really can’t be bothered with this hokey school BS, ya know?

So one day last week, I fed up with how the homework assignments were distributed. I crafted an email to the teacher regarding the ridiculous process and did an evil thing…I sent the email to the principal to forward it to her.

Let’s get political, shall we?

Surprisingly, I got a response back to my email. I was so shocked, not by the content of the email, but simply receiving a response that I wanted to run out and get some lotto tickets. Because Miki’s teacher has never tried to communicate with the parents, I wanted to nail her ass in the wall for the lack of responses to our demands when I submitted notes in the composition notebook.

There’s one good/bad thing about working in Fido – I mastered the art of picking emails apart.

Excuse me while I go tear this one apart now.

Hello Teacher Irene,

As the weeks go by since the first day of school in September, I’ve seen many changes within the class which took many of us some time to get accustomed to, such as the Home School Communication Book and the Chinese Workbook given out to the students. With the growing number of daily homework assignments amounting each day, the Red composition notebooks are beginning to overflow with worksheets. The inner pages are rumpled and torn which gives the appearance that it has been run over by a truck.

I definitely feel that continuing this method of homework distribution will eventually become slovenly and prone to mishaps. There is absolutely no need to carry old homework sheets back and forth from home daily (there are parents who commute far and the added weight is not at all desirable). Furthermore, one blue bin will not be enough to hold all 33 notebooks by January 2006.

As a senior parent and former Head Parent in Love class, I suggest that we revisit the process of utilizing homework folders once again, where children would receive their daily assignments from you.

There are multiple benefits to this former process:

1. Old work can be kept home
2. Worksheets are kept securely together

(i.e. – I had Mikayla do her Columbus Beginning/Middle/Ending assignment in her notebook because she left it at her grandmother’s house. Grandma later contacted me regarding the ‘extra’ sheet after the homework assignment was done. I decided to modify the assignment because she technically completed her homework and wanted to keep her interest upbeat.)

3. In the past, monthly tuition was given and paid using the student’s folder. It provides an added security that the checks are not exposed nor misplaced. Now we are stuffing these payments in the open slot of the ‘homework center’ without a centralized collection point. Because I used to work for Fidelity Investments, checks should never be left unsecured or unattended due to fraud and theft.
4. For certain parents, it provides an added PRIVACY for those who do not want to disclose their household income. Families granted free lunches meet a specific earning criteria and the school’s tuition bill discloses their financial status. Please keep in mind that these parents will NOT approach you on this matter as it will be appear unseemly and awkward on their part. I strongly suggest that you take action ASAP.
5. Checking homework will certainly will be much more efficient for you.
6. There will be less effort/manpower required having the assistants staple each sheet and paste your instructions on a daily basis. You can cut down the level of work by consolidating all of these manual processes. Simply staple the instructions and the sheets together. This will free up the assistants’ time and you can have them concentrate on other classroom tasks.
7. Communication between the parent and teacher has typically transacted through these folders.

I hope these points clarify what I foresee to be an ineffective, messy, and bulky process. Currently, we have to detach these sheets and re-attach them to the notebook so our children can do the work neatly and properly. As of now, some of the pieces have fallen out and I don’t see any benefit of taping them back to cart old work around.

Speaking of older work, your earlier assignments (the 5 senses) specified that the drawings are to be drawn neatly and compiled in a “All About Me” book. Is the project abandoned?

Again, I am also suggesting that you provide detailed instructions for these homework assignments. Regarding to Bullet #2, I would not have proceeded with the 10/12 homework if a sheet was clearly indicated. Instead, it said - “…and have your child draw/write about what happened in beginning, middle and end of story.”

Also, it would be beneficial if you could include what parents can do to substantiate the support during homework time. For example, Teacher Luisa asked parents to enforce rhyming with certain sounds and have children write using phonetic rules.

Most importantly, I would like to see a higher focus regarding character education on good manners, practicing virtues, and moral training. In the previous classes, teachers have accentuated these principles and it should continue with this class as well. Children should be encouraged to say their greetings and salutations to everyone daily. Teacher Kitty and Teacher Colleen did an excellent job of having the children to respect their elders and everyone by setting good examples. According to the Parent Handbook, courtesy and respect are standards of the school and I full expect this to be emphasized and reinforced at all times.

Please reconsider having homework folders concerning efficient distribution, monetary security, communication, as well as privacy issues which is now a sensitive component thanks to the Patriot Act.

Regards,
Linda Mah
(Mikayla’s Mom)

-----Original Message-----
From: Irene Wong [mailto:wongire@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, October 20, 2005 1:23 PM
To: lindamah@rcn.com
Subject: Charity Class

Dear Mrs. Mah,

I realized this late morning my cell phone was not properly charged the night before and it was absolutely necessary to have this gizmo operating on its full capacity. If I was gonna wait on line at Tower Records for at least 3 hours, I better have resources to text message, call, or play Bejeweled during this grueling wait.

So I left the office and went home again. I did small chores - laundry, document shredding, and stuff requiring little time to accomplish. Everything was smooth sailing until the phone rang.

Assuming that it was mom, I made the mistake of answering it. Shee-it. It was Ellen.

Ellen's angst of the week: stupid 20-something-year-old Czech/Polish boy trying to court her but instead of asking her out (btw, she's 42), he's dramatizing theatrically to gain her attention. Tactics include: having girls in the choir gang up on Ellen for a fight, enlisting the help of a unassuming and guillible Chinese girl to masquerade around as his girlfriend (to make Ellen jealous), and whatever the heck else she said.

It's obvious she wants to be heard. What iggs me is how we've already exchanged these dumb-ass thoughts back and forth on emails. She couldn't quite read the Chinese girlfriend's actions because they befuddled her. When I pointed out how she was simply a pawn in the scheme of things, she refused to believe me.

Why? Why? I don't get it...why would a girl would be naive enough to be reeled into this? On and on, she went. She couldn't accept the fact how our culture imposes Old China's belief on docility, even for American-born Asians. Those who are unattractive and desperately desire to have a relationship with the opposite sex, are especially prone to subserviency. Sadly, they are convinced actions will speak louder than anything else. You don't win them with your wit or looks ('cuz you don't have none), you win 'em by "serving" them.

El found it appalling how the Czech publicly humiliated the clingy Asian by pulling a no-show on Sunday's choir. El, with her head all the way up her ass, actually believed that this was intentional stunt for her to witness; however, I informed her that she was giving this stupid ass more credit than he deserved. I really think he dumped the Klingon because their game of charades had gone too far. The Klingon's usefulness has probably overstayed its welcome with her stalker-like tendencies.

Whatever. I've had enough of the circular references with El. With my stomach growling, I couldn't wait to feast upon my steamed rice rolls. But no...I split out of my house only to find more stupidity going on at the medical office.

Upon my arrival, I saw a patient spasmodically explain some kind of situation with Kitty within the receptionist's area. OH NO, no, no, no...

Due to the unusual office layout, the receptionist's area is exposed and not sectioned off from the waiting area. Unfortunately, we're stuck having to mingle with vexing patients whether we like it or not. I strategically stand in the area between the desk and the door to prevent "intruders'" from vain attempts to barge into Richard's office to have a "word with the doctor" or pulling some half-witted stunt to cut the line. Yeah, believe it or not, I had two patients who tried to cut the line by grabbing one of the charts off of our desk and running into the examination room. One got away with it. The second one wasn't so lucky. I literally dragged the fool by his collar out of the exam room. The moronic asswipe assumed the girls would say nothing and let him slide ('cuz girls are easy prey). In actuality, they couldn't say anything because they didn't catch him in time. Me? I have no qualms with enforcing disciplinary action and enlist the help of the patients in the waiting area to berate at this idiot. Oh god, whatever you do, just don't assume I'm the mongoloid here.

Here's my gripe - I do NOT allow any patient come near the side of the receptionist's desk as our filing cabinets are located only a few feet away. Although the area isn't exactly sectioned off, with all of those sorters and cabinets, it's in plain sight that this isn't public access. I'm doing my duty by protecting privacy, y'see...veddy important.

Kitty was struggling to finish preparing a chart for a new patient and she really didn't have the time of day to entertain this woman. I noticed Yuki dashing about in the back, deliberately avoiding this woman as well. Okay, now it's MY turn...

So I pull her away from the area so the girls carry about their business and try to determine the next course of action for this individual. This woman received a medical bill via mail and cannot understand how it was possible since she never visited the OB/GYN.

Okay, let's get this straight...this medical office PRACTICES INTERNAL MEDICINE. If Richard was an OB/GYN specialist, then Miki can still get into Harvard even if she was D- student in high school (with an SAT score comprised only of her signature) as well as owning a house in the Hamptons.

When I looked at the bill, I noticed it originated from HIP. Right off the bat, I knew she was friggen basket case because our office doesn't take HIP. So when I explained that she was in the wrong place and needed to inquire elsewhere - either the specialist's or her HIP agent, she yelled back at me for not listening. She insisted how Richard made an appointment and referred her to this doctor.

No effing way possible. Since when do doctors make appointments for patients?? Why the hell did we hire TWO receptionists to manage the front desk for??! I explained nicely how PCP's refer patients to specialists and because the office doesn't accept HIP, there's no way in hell he'd be able to refer her anyway. Then she rambles on how one of our receptionists set up an appointment for her. Furthermore, she even pointed out how she saw a 3-4 year old child running amok in the office when she came here back in July. Okay, how is this information relevant to our conversation??

Exasperated, I told her the office does not make appointments for patients as it was their own responsibility. I even suggested that this could be a case of health insurance fraud and she needed to inquire further. She adamantly insisted that I wasn't listening to a word she said and I noticed how she was changing her story when I fired off a slew of questions and provided answers she refused to accept. Then this twat modified her story by saying how the specialist's office billed her for a visit that WE set up for her. So now, we're responsible for the charges.

As of this point, I'm having a LOUD pissing match with this woman. As tiny as I am, I've got lungs bigger than Patrick Ewing. She's getting annoyed with me because I'm not being helpful and I'm not backing down either. This fetid twat changes the subject by insisting how we must provide her insurance information because we can call it up (Yeah, for OUR patients).

#%&@%#$!!!!!

Earlier, she's admitted that she's never been seen in our office before, so where am I gonna pull this information?? Outta my fricking asshole??!?!

Sarcastically in Chinese, I asked her where I could obtain this information. From the depths of the sea? When I start using snotty language my mom lashes out on me, then all goes downhill. I was getting very nasty and snatched her bill just to shove the letters "HIP" up her face. Another 10 more minutes of this rampant diatribe, the twat resorted to complaining about how I won't listen to her.

Damn right.

Finally, she asked for the specialist's address and finally left.

This rancid twat kept going in circles and the girls complained to me how they couldn't get through to her. When Richard saw me barking at her, he asked Yuki why the twat hadn't left as the situation was clearly pointless.

To put things into a rather twisted perspective, I have a sense that the idiotic twat isn't half as obtuse as she appears to be. Some people actually play stupid to get others to resolve their issues on their behalf. Technically in her mind, I was supposed to become aggravated enough to contact these offices for resolution - just so I could get her out of the office.

NOT.

So I got up this morning and was on line at Tower Records this morning around 7:50AM waiting for Chie. We were excited to grab a copy of Depeche Mode's new release and get autographs later that evening. Oddly enough, I was the early bird for today's event, while Chie was the tardy toad. Usually it's the other way around (HAH! Me? Early?!?!). We waited nearly 2 hours before we were able to purchase the DVD/CD compiliaton and obtain those very, very, very crucial wristbands.

Because I was antsy and couldn't really concentrate with work, I decided to leave the office early (and it was HOPPING today) and arrived there around 4PM. Unfortunately, I was utterly bored outta my mind since Chie couldn't get out of work early. Because she had gone into the office late, there was no way she could sneak out of her office undetected (sucks to be in mgmt!). Fortunately, I had come PREPARED - candy, gum, and the best of all, my ancient walkman. Yes, I live in the Dark Ages and have yet to own a MP3 player. Plus, let's not forget those cool looking sunglasses.

Was it extremely sunny today, you might ask? Um, not quite, but the explanation is simple. Although I am rather photosensitive due to Lasik surgery, by no means do I wear them on a regular basis. When you wait out on these horrendous lines in the streets, every a-hole passing by will ask you WTF we are foolishly hanging about.

So, when you appear preoccupied, especially in those glasses, those annoying trolls will not pose any dumb questions to you. They will proceed the next idiot who appears to be available. Plus, another added benefit: inconspicuous people-watching. After going around the town last year to catch public appearances by TFF and Duran Duran, you could say I've got this down to a system.

By 5:30PM, Chie finally got her revered hiney on line and my boredom duty was over. Sure enough, she went digging into her wallet and realized she's lost her wristband.

Lost.

OMFG - she heads right back to the K-Mart on Astor Place because she had purchased some gum and a Sharpie pen. She heard something drop, but didn't notice what it was. I cross my fingers and toes PRAYING that no one has noticed the wristband. 8 minutes later, I get a phone call that everything's okay.

Phew!

I told her that she could have my wristband if she truly had lost it. She loves Depeche Mode more than I do, and just seeing the pure joy on her face is enough for me.

So we wait for another hour or so and before 7PM, the line is now moving quickly. When we finally entered Tower Records, I see them in the flesh: Andy Fletcher, Martin Gore and David Gahan. Unfortunately, security moved us along like an assembly line and you couldn't quite chat or ask the guys to sign a specific item or page. The nicest bit is how they all smiled and shook everyone's hands.

Chie was FLOORED. She actually cried seeing them and was sputtering incoherent stuff after we left the store. She managed to tell Martin that she's loved them since LIRR (an alternative radio station in the 80's) and was walking on air for at least 20 minutes!

It was truly adorable. At least she now knows how goofy I felt when I met Curt and Roland. You want to say something nice and intelligent, but feel way too awkward when you meet them. It's a great feeling and an experience unmatched by anything else. The pure joy of seeing someone you hold dear in the flesh just seems so much more real.

My feet are now gangrenous.

I woke up early this morning - 6:15AM (truly unheard of) and I woke up with "Cold" playing in my head during my REM state.

Wonder what's that all about?

I'm back...and ready to fight. A week off and being mopey helped. I just finished a politically correct nastygram. It's ready to roll.

You know, there’s really something to be said about kids and their strict bedtimes. Yes, routine is necessary and even, absolute. But spontaneity should be thrown in every now and then (a-hem).

Anyway, being the biggest, selfish parent on this planet, I never quite enforced a strict bedtime ritual with my daughter simply because I wanted to keep her up all night long with me. Due to my horrendous hours at work, I didn’t mind seeing her walking about at 11:30PM or even 3AM on the weekends. So what if she had school the next day?

When I quit Fido, I slowly learned why there were so many bedwetting accidents. Because Mikayla had gone to bed late at night, she was too tired to get up and go take a whizz. After all, she used to do it in her sleep a few months ago, right? Only difference was – no diapies.

And man, we’ve gotten a few mean boo-boo’s in the past.

So, over the last year I worked on getting her to bed at a decent hour AND without having me to accommodate her by the side. It took about two months, but I certainly reaped the rewards. She fell asleep on her own, got the much needed hours, AND I got peace. It wasn't easy especially since I would let her go to bed anytime she wanted or whenever I went to bed.

And y’all know I’m a pathetic vampire at night. I haven’t changed in over 2 decades and it sure ain’t gonna let up either.

NOW…Miki goes to bed at 9:30PM – promptly. There are times where I have to scream, yell, and threaten mankind to get her to sleep. The quality of sleep does make a difference especially during school ‘cuz she isn’t nodding off during circle time. However, it’s still a bitch to wake her up. Like moi, she loves her bed and isn’t exactly a morning person. On the other hand, I notice how this isn't true on weekends. Hmmmm?

Last night, she did something I hadn’t seen in a while. She was in bed for about two hours and ran out of the bedroom at 11:30PM with her eyes closed. She approached me and said, “Mommy, mommy”. I asked her if she wanted to go to the potty, but she shook her head no. Then she headed over to the entertainment area where she pulled down her shorts to plop her chunky butt down…

I sprinted over and led her to the bathroom. I really hate to see the kid slam her ass on the floor.

Two years ago, she pulled a similar stunt where she walked over to daddy’s leather Coach briefcase, yanked her pants down, and sat right on top of it. I caught her just in the nick of time before the big whizz ensued. Yeesh, I was watching in her amazement before I realized what was really going on!

Another time, Mikayla had a play date with the rotten brat, Kristy. Since she was disinterested with her little friend, she fell asleep on her little Blue’s Clues pull-out sofa and ignored everyone in the living room. When Kristy and psychomom, Grace, finally departed, I headed into the kitchen to prepare dinner. Next thing I knew, my daughter ran into the kitchen bawling her head off. Mommy! Mommy! I pee-peed ewerywhere, I’m sorry! MOMMY!!!!

What the…?!! Dang…do I have to chuck out the mini sofa now?

I walked over to the spot where she was sleeping and saw that it was dry. Puzzled, I looked at my soiled child who reluctantly pointed at the bedroom.

Oh no.

I walked into my bedroom, and there it was…A MASSIVE STAIN saturated on MY side of the bed. I was speechless and couldn’t figure out what to do. She was distraught over the accident and it was apparent that she needed to unload her stash, but went to the wrong room. Oy.

A few nights ago, she made a beeline for the kitchen. I ran after her in the dark, with my eyes barely open, to turn her little body around towards the direction of our bathroom. She actually fought with me in her semi-conscious state and argued that I was leading her to the kitchen and not the bathroom. Whatever.

Oh, the joys of being a parent.

(for the rest of the week..)

I am totally beside myself. I'm exhausted as hell, but want to take a battleaxe & a mallet right this second and take a shot at someone.

I got a stupid response to my meeting minutes...I mean, the response was STUPID. It wasn't a poor response, it was ASININE.

I just can't tolerate stupidity.

This is war.

Not a lot going on this week...well, that's only half true anyway.

Just trying to deal with the putrid situation at school and half-heartedly dealing with whatever that's going on in the office. I finally got the hideous email out of the way and now simply waiting to see what kind of action the school will take to rectify the problems. Parents (Asians in general) are afraid of confrontational situations and prefer to keep mum. Others are drowning because the homework is too challenging for them. The whole situation is extremely lop-sided.

I love and hate documenting things. It's a tediously crazy job, but it's one of the most effective and nastiest ways to get other people in trouble. Most people hate documenting because it's a gut-wrenching and time-consuming effort. In the end, it's well worth it.

I spent the last 4 hours revising my meeting highlights.

Am I the only one who really gives a shit or am I just goddamned basket case?

Duh me. Now I know why I couldn't write this stupid meeting highlights / minutes up. It wasn't really a tirade, but a factual blob of stuff. Facts are basically boring and I can't opine to it. When I crafted the petition, OMFG, did I go off - quite eloquently too!

Awww sheee-it, do I really have to go there?

I hate it when I gotta do stuff like this. I always opt the easy way out and I guess it's Heaven's way of saying, "HAH! GOTCHA! YOU CAN'T GET AWAY FROM THIS!"

Oy.