Ten of Pentacles - Linder's Version

Here is the place where the total mind dump takes no form or shape. Call it Verbal cubism!

Friday, December 31, 2004

Last Blog for 2004 

We'd Live on Ice Cream on Coney Island…

Miki: Mommy? What's Roland saying? Ice cream? Does he like it?

Mom: He's saying that he likes ice cream.

Miki: Why Coney Island?

Mom: There's a big amusement park with roller coasters and rides.

Miki: Roland likes the roller coaster? Is that why he's singing about it?

Mom: Um..uh, yeah, something like that.

Miki: Wait till I'm bigger, until 8 years old. I can go on the roller coaster.

Ya know, it's one thing to be mesmerized over Tears For Fears, but it's a whole other ball of wax when it's your own child. Quite honestly, if they hadn't reunited, I probably wouldn't even have considered replacing all of my worn cassettes with CD's or acquiring their solo efforts so quickly. While I still have my other favorite singers & musicians, nobody tops Curt and Roland.

But truthfully, the last few years have tested my wits and strength through the blazing fires from hell and back. This rediscovery process I've embarked on is a true road to my own personal recovery – and a fantastic one, no less.

I get a real kick seeing how much Miki enjoys TFF. And I swear…on my dad’s grave, it was not my doing in a deliberate sense. So, let me begin to unravel the truth behind WHY Mikayla adores Roland Orzabal. That way, I can QUIT reiterating myself. People can just read the damn blog and leave me alone.

[This is an incredibly lengthy blog. Read it at your own will…either it will solve your issues with insomnia or it will leave you fairly amused if you enjoy reading Mikayla-isms.]

Since I worked god awful hours at the office, I hardly spent much time at home. And when I did, I would make good use of my time sleeping, lolling and watching Xena (I didn’t have cable and I would somehow wake up to it). But one thing for certain, I never played any off TFF’s music at home. Why?

1) Listened to my CD’s on my personal player because I like music LOUD.
2) SFTBC was stuck in my Compaq CPU and could not be retrieved since the piece of crap was busted.
3) Most of TFF’s music resided on tapes and my cassette deck was practically falling apart.
4) I usually listen music on my Walkman (yes, I still own one) ‘cuz I used to record a ton of 80's music on cassettes to create my own high and happy compilations.

So…

One fine day when Miki was barely 2 years old, she was wrought with boredom at home. I was busy, as always, with my infinite number of household chores and left her with the Multimedia babysitter. Boredom seeped into the toddler’s veins as Elmo and Big Bird continued to repeatedly struggle with woes of counting and alphabetizing. While rummaging through her toys, she spotted my pile of videos on the floor and started to go through them. Soon after, she ran into the kitchen and said to me, "Play this one".

Miki handed me Tears For Fears TEARS ROLL DOWN (GREATEST HITS 82-92). I guffawed and explained to her that her amazing discovery was not analogous to her usual TV line-up on PBS. What sparked her interest was the funky golden sun on the cover of the VHS. Miki thought it was some cartoon regarding celestial entities or whatever the heck it was that went through her mind then. Because of my obvious reluctance, she insisted upon seeing the video and DEMANDED that I play the darn thing.

Okay, Okay!

So, I popped the tape in and stood by the VCR. I decided not to leave my position ‘cuz I expected her to lose interest in the first 20 seconds of its playtime. Well, lo and behold, “Sowing the Seeds of Love” captivated her and she didn’t even flinch from the bed. Her large almond shaped eyes were fixated to the TV as all of these intriguting objects and people floated around the screen. I eventually had to tear myself away from the VCR since it was apparent that she was going to watch the tape in its entirety.

I could NOT believe what I was seeing. Furthermore, Miki asked to see the tape 2 more times! (Thank goodness..I was able to buy time and got a boatload of tasks scratched off of my To Do list that day!)

Well, her fascination with Roland Orzabal began here. Unfortunately, the faulty video mechanism chewed up the tape approximately after 6-7 viewings. My poor rugrat was devastated and cried because she assumed she had broken the tape. Because of her sheer enthusiasm, I decided to let her view my ancient and rare copy of "Scenes from the Big Chair" to appease her TFF ‘appetite’ while searching the world wide web for another copy of TEARS ROLL DOWN.

Anyhoo, one night after fecal day at work, I walked in my mom’s door and Miki was in the bathroom taking her bath. With the bath water gushing, she was singing with a Chinese/English accent a broken version of "Shout". It went like this:

“Jout, Jout..Ledit lollout. Geez are da ding I kin doo widout. I'm dalking doo you, COME ON!”

Only after a small number of viewings, she was able to sing the chorus on her own. [This is proof that you can brainwash your kid at an early age.]

As far as Grandma is concerned, she just shook her head. Grandma cried – “Oh my gosh, TWO generations of TFF loyalists!” She chuckled over Miki’s passion.

In the good ol' days, I would take long, long naps - not even a tractor trailer crashing through the roof could awaken my fat ass. My mother had devised an ingenious way to wake me up during those periods of hibernation. She’d go, "Oh! It's the two English guys you like so much showing on MTV!" With my eyes still closed, I would spring out of bed, slam into the wall and stand in front of the tube struggling to pry my eyes open. Mom's so very clever.

Because of my innate foraging skills, I always seek deals out on the web. For whatever the goshdarnit reason, this videotape was unusually difficult to obtain – it was unavailable everywhere, including Amazon. By the time I got my hands on the precious videotape, I decided to give it to her for her second birthday. I know, I know, it’s odd, but she was DELIGHTED to receive as a gift!!! Her little face just LIT up. Forget the Blue Clue’s dancing doll or her new electronic piano – TFF RULED!

It's extremely AMUSING to see how my daughter reacts to my favorite group and I’ve even occasionally entertained some of my friends by playing their music. She’d even try and convince her cousins to watch the video because Roland and Curt are cooler than Dora the Explorer. Of course, my nieces didn’t understand Mikayla’s fascination and thought Mikayla spoke a totally different language. More often than not, she’ll belt out excerpts of the songs at school. Even the teacher asked me what kind of music Mikayla listened because she would draw and blurt out, “Come On!”

During this past summer, Chie popped in SFTBC CD on her stereo - Miki's eyes and ears perked up like a cat. My friend was explaining to me how much she loved the Hurting and Seeds of Love albums, Mikayla interjected in our conversation by declaring that the song on the stereo was the one where Roland's singing without his shirt (I Believe), not Seeds of Love. Oh goodness.

I took Miki to see TFF on the Today Show concert which was absolutely marvelous. Not only did she actually get up 6AM (she can't even haul her ass out of bed for school at 8AM), she waited VERY patiently to see them perform. She did, however, bug the heck outta me with questions like, “Are they here yet?”

The only thing she could not comprehend was why Roland didn't say anything to her. From a child’s point of view, she sees them as ordinary people living next to door to us. Of course, toddlers can't fathom the concept celebrity statuses anyway. Although the lads are pretty humble, I explained to her that he was very sleepy that morning and wanted to go back to bed. Which is the truth, BTW.

Another interesting point: Why isn't Manny or Ian there?

She really does pay attention to her videos. Yet another creative explanation.

Personally, I ADORED both Ian Stanley and Manny Elias. Ian was my FIRST big crush. I don’t know why or how that got started, because I remember very distinctly that I favored Curt over Roland because of that cool hair.

Well, another cute highlight – on the day ELAHE was released, 9/14/04, my daughter came home from school and immediately identified Roland’s voice emanating through the speakers. Miki LOVES “Call Me Mellow” and giggles every time she hears the line, “we’d live on ice cream, on Coney Island.” She is also particular to Curt’s voice and likes the hum after “Who You Are” and “Size of Sorrow.” Every time the album is played, she barrages me with constant reminders, that the “Quiet Ones” is my favorite song. Because of the dramatic guitar introduction, she copies my head bashing moves and takes her toy guitar out to strum “just like Roland”. Oy.

Plus, I recently played RATKOS in the kitchen on my little CD player. I have NEVER played the album at home because there were moments at work where I needed a ‘creative fix’. Whenever I was stuck with a complex workflow or systems issue, listening to RATKOS somehow unblocked the stagnation and the problem resolution would come through. Anyway, when Miki heard “Don’t Drink the Water” the first time, she asked me if that was the “Quiet Ones.” My jaw dropped to the floor because it was a correlation that I had made, but never mentioned it to anyone. I mean, after all, only TFF fans, would pick up such details.

Moreover, I’m utterly tone deaf (must be from all of that LOUD music). I hear things selectively in real life, but I have no sense of sound for anything. So…when I first bought SFTBC, I couldn’t tell the difference between Curt and Roland. Miki? Sheesh, she knew from boot who it was…even on ELAHE. I think I’m gonna send her for vocal or drumming lessons. Screw the piano…every Chinese parent wants their kid to be the next Mozart. It’s fine by me if Miki wants to be another Curt or Roland although dad wants her to take after him (NOT!!).

I actually have a TON of Miki stories related to TFF, but I wanted to put these highlights down first. She is so funny and these stories are so far fetched when I relay it to my friends ‘cuz she’s such a ham!

Since ELAHE was released, I have been playing nothing BUT TFF music on my stereo. Prior to this, one would immediately assume that I was a Depeche Mode/New Order/Erasure/Rick Astley/Alison Moyet fan. Fer sure, Miki doesn’t like Depeche a la mode, but prefers Sir Rick Astley. We have lots of children’s music at home and I can honestly say that she has never ONCE asked me to play them. In the recycling bin they go…

IN CONCLUSION, I am not wholly responsible for my kid’s adoration for TFF. Call it love at first sight. Yes, I am a Tears For Fears fanatic, but I always believed that one should develop personal tastes through his/her own course of the discovery process. I never thought in a million of years that my daughter would be ever interested in mommy’s ultimately favorite duo. I’ve shared a number of my mature tastes with Miki (indeed, she loves her sushi) and she doesn’t care for many of the artists I’ve exposed her to. Obviously, this one comes as a total surprise. It wasn’t as if I played SFTBC day in and out from the day she was born. In fact, my collection was scattered about since I was listening on my way to hell, I mean, work. So I left the European Techno and British Bubblegum Pop on my CD player.

The only confession I will make is that I played SFTBC incessantly during my pregnancy. My personal favorite was “The Working Hour” and the track would be repeated at least 10 times each day. Again, because CD drive was malfunctioning, the album was forever stuck until last year when I manually pried the sucker out. There’s this whole spiel about how one can enhance the intelligence of an unborn child through classical music. Yeah, whatever. So maybe her tastes developed then? But she’s not particular to the “Working Hour”…

Folks, this is one of the best highlights of 2004. Now that I have this piece documented, I can now paste the hyperlink and have y'all read this blog. Still, I know there are those who refuse to believe me. Then again, I am the one who has the most far fetched stories in life AND I am not related to Kramer.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Posted by lindikins @ 7:48 PM | Link
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Thursday, December 30, 2004

Jumbles Mania 

Whoa.

I have always loved doing anagrams/Jumbles and boy, was I on a roll for the past 3 days. I picked up a new book (that's been sitting in my closet for eons) and have completed a slew of puzzles in a matter of minutes. I have a funny way of doing them..I would only do the first four Jumbles and leave the surprise answer for later.

On a good day, I would finish unscrambling 4 Jumbles less than a minute. Then I would do more until my brain ceases to function. In an hour, I average about 6 puzzles including the surprise answers. Sometimes I would only do the surprise answers and not the Jumbles. Yeah, call me weird.

And..no cheating! I only look up the answers if I can't figure out the world. Usually it's something I've never used like farik or capon. Gee, how do you use something like the word, capon, on a day-to-day basis? A castrated male chicken?

Posted by lindikins @ 11:57 AM | Link
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Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Startling Discovery 

William Hung is the human form of Spongebob Squarepants. If you look carefully, both have strikingly oversized buck teeth, supersede society's tolerance for nerds (sans the intellect), and is continually outfitted by their mothers.

One of my best friends at work burned a copy of the notable Mr. Hung's CD. It is so foul and screechy that it will make you piss in your pants.

I will admit that listening to his American Idol audition was the highlight during those rotten days at work. I sent the .wav file to Joe, where he would bellow in laughter and would play it at work (which is a big no-no) for everyone to hear. As a result, we'd schedule a 3PM 'group time' where our staff would listen to "She Bangs" at Joe's desk. The best part is that I would be under my desk crying my ass off while Joe would do Jimmy Fallon's (SNL) rendition of the audition. We later incorporated the "Star Wars Kid" into the program when the hysteria of "She Bangs" dried out. The "Star Wars Kid" was just as bad since Joe would take his wiffle bat (yes, he had one at his desk - we gave him a 5 year old birthday party one day as a joke) and start swinging at the ficus tree beside us.

Posted by lindikins @ 7:20 PM | Link
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Fattening Up 

This week, Miki is out of school and indulging in her new toys she got from various friends and family. Since we live in very modern and different times, dad and I decided not to give her too much as it will end up in the trash within the next 9 months.

Meanwhile when I was a kid, we didn't get anything...SQUAT. My toys were wrapped in plastic and only to be admired from afar. It didn't matter how good we were, we didn't get much. That usually holds true for most Chinese families as our parents never really grasped the concept of Xmas or the gift giving aspect. As far as they were concerned, if you were dry and had a roof over your head, that was the best thing in the world.

Toys were seen as being wasteful. My parents would rather buy six pounds of potato chips and clothing in lieu of toys. Dammit...I wonder if this had anything to do with the Communist rule they escaped from and decided to implement at home because it was extremely convenient. My parents were raised under the Nationalist rule, so they can't tell me that they were oppressed and all that whatnot.

But because we were mainstream kids and were born in the US, goshdarnit, we WANTED presents. My dad managed to get an artificial Xmas tree, but didn't put any cool gifts under it. Each year, we'd unwrapped more cookies and chocolate. Aiyah.

All year long, we go to Toys R Us and pick up a toy here and there with each trip. If you do the math, a large/expensive toy is purchased monthly adds up. Either we save it for Xmas (no can do) or we buy it because she bats her lovely long lashes [Note: we still don't know where she got it from..must the postal carrier].

So we succumb to the desire of seeing her bright, radiant and gleeful face. We got her an oversized Blue's Clues Magenta doll which is very hard to find item. She loves the pink puppy and obtaining Magenta in a store is practically an impossible feat. But...her desires lie in Spongebob Squarepants.

Yearghh. I absolutely hate it. I refuse to buy or see it in my home. Yuck.

Because she was being a total brat in the last quarter, I didn't want to spoil her either. She's picked up a ton of lousy habits from school which I'm trying to undo this week. Because it's been cold, I decided to keep things simple, like stuffing her.

Miki doesn't like school lunches so she her eating habits are poor. She has a small breakfast, skips lunch and nibbles on her snack like a picky cat. So, her only her main meal is dinner. If dinner is a bomb, consider my kid starved for the day. All day long we're eating and chowing down everything...from sushi, steak, bbq ribs to gummy bears. By next week, she'll lose all of her roly-poly-ness. But my job is done, along with a gabillion loads of laundry.

Posted by lindikins @ 6:33 PM | Link
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Sunday, December 26, 2004

I'M BACKK! 

I hate to admit it, but my life revolves around the puter. Without it, I am nothing.

Rich borrowed the puter to print out a few documents for a silly bunch of patients. The reason why it is a massive effort to print a simple document is all because of him. Fartypants hardly pays any attention to things around him - so when he decided to print something, he remembered to turn on the printer, but had conveniently forgotten to remove my handkerchief. Due to its limited usage, I covered it to:
  1. Prevent future generation of dustbunnies
  2. Promote good feng shui by covering up hardware when not in use
Produces all sorts of electromagnetic energy which disrupts the equilibrium of positive energy and blah, blah, blah.

As a result, the document was printed on my lovely handkerchief. Printer needed to be put to rest - permanently. So...I have been without a printer for a very long time and really didn't need one. Why bother when you can print laser quality documents at work anyway?

So there is an inkjet printer at his office that functions and is attached to a spirometer. Fartypants types up his thingamajig and brings the laptop to the office to print. It's a HUGE production.

As a result, he left my beloved puter in his office. No, he does not have a desktop workstation in his office for those of who are wondering. Fartypants is so intimidated with computers that couldn't even install the hardware even though it's color coded. Because of this fact, I mess with his head. Big time.

One fine day...about 6-7 years ago, he tried to print out his slideshow for a case presentation. Because he knew nothing about Windows or General Protection Fault (GPF) errors, the system crashed and he lost his beloved document. He called me frantically at work about the incident and I decided to be very, very evil. He was so upset and didn't know what to do.

I merely explained to him that he definitely typed a combination of codes and letters which caused the computer to crash (he types by looking at the keys) as well as attributing to his bad habit of shutting off the computer without logging off of Windows. I told him that the document was forever lost since he never took my advice to save documents frequently. I even went as far as saying that his bad habit of putting his foot on the CPU contributed to the system error and how the puter might meet its early resting place. I may very well announce its time of death later that evening.

I had him shitting in his pants for the entire day. >:)

When I arrived home, he waited eagerly and probably gnawed the tops of his fingers. All I did was reboot, defrag, run CHKDSK and change the wallpaper. Fortunately, I found a copy of his document in the temp drive.

I got a Coach bag out of this one. ;o)

Posted by lindikins @ 11:57 PM | Link
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Thursday, December 23, 2004

School's Out! 

End of my fatigue & headache.

Miki's out of school and I'm done with this festive hooplah between the kids, parents and teachers. I have been busy with a ton of school activities, not because I'm a caring parent, it's because shit was ready to hit the fan.

I may not have the authority to comment how the parochial system works, but one thing is for sure, there's a limited budget and it all depends on how management utilizes it. So, with a young and struggling principal, all of the parents genetically related to Velociprators try and take advantage of the inexperience. As a result, our young principal makes a valiant attempt to fend them off, but ends up distrusting everyone in the process.

So, after decisions are being made by the Parents on the School Committee, the principal constantly overrides them. There are a ton of blips and bleeps with school activities as she makes poor judgement of the processes, bad delegation and the lack of follow-ups required in her position. As a result, certain parents gave up their positions and no longer offer assistance. Can't really blame them after having their decisions bulldozed, but in the same token, some of these parents can be vindictive as well.

For example, take Anita. She's been known to lead in all of the school projects in the past, but has conveniently disappeared for every one of them this year. Why? Anita despises the principal and her son require special attention by his teachers as he is difficult to deal with [I swear he has ADD and is such a friggen smart-ass like his mom]. This mother truly believes that she has a prominent right to make her case, however big or small, as she has "earned" seniority and is a major player in the committee. Because her rugrat is on the teacher's shit list, she feels that everyone on the staff is making this a personal issue. To retaliate, [I have come to a conclusion] she is deliberately sabotaging all of principal's efforts during events time.

So...guess who unknowingly steps in? Moi.

I see the poor art teacher and custodian wrapping up the school's gifts. I offer my assistance and help wrap 130+ gifts in two days (plus, I managed to grab other parents as well). It is obvious that there is lack of communication to solicit volunteers as we need assistance. There are eager and available folks, but they don't know how they can contribute. I don't know if it's the lack of leadership presence by the principal or by the committee leader. The definition of who does what is certainly absent and in limbo. All they managed to do was pitch forth a mission and left it at that. There's supposed to be a way to ACCOMPLISH the aforementioned mission, ya know?

Now the success comes from individuals with Type A personalities and exceptional project management skills [a-hem]. The quick thinking (me), problem resolution (me) and the ability to prioritize tasks (me) allowed the majority of the shit to be done. I've managed to win the principal's trust by barraging her with a ton of questions with the stupid and impractical decisions or ideas she pitches forth. I noticed that a lot of parents complain, but behind her back. None of them actually ARGUE their points like I do. Of course, if I was running the show, I wouldn't wait to the last minute just to put out fires. Now why would I want to grind my own ass...especially in this weather?

Our principal was also a successful teacher in the school, so the administrative aspect of her career still needs to be worked on. I noticed a lot of teachers don't know how to delegate or 'use' folks, so most of them are stuck with the task of doing everything themselves.

I commend them for their ardor since they're in 7-ish AM and leave at some time after 5PM. Those are LONG-ass hours. Earlier this year I spent a few hours with the nursery class (3 year olds) and man, I was TIRED after helping them out with making Easter eggs. Half of them were crying over the fact that their hands were dirty and needed to wash their hands pronto. Mud pies, anyone?

The bottom line is: the principal has a learning curve and can be a politically correct retard. But can we set that crap aside so the kids can ENJOY the festivities?

Oh boy...I have more stories about this Anita mom. Not only is she a MEGA asswipe, but a malicious and disgustingly malevolent person on this planet. I'll reserve the story for a whole other blog.

So, technically, my vacation starts tomorrow! TTFN!

Posted by lindikins @ 5:23 PM | Link
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Monday, December 20, 2004

Frigid and Fetid Weather 


 Severe Weather Alert from the National Weather Service
...BRONX NY-KINGS (BROOKLYN) NY-NEW YORK (MANHATTAN) NY-QUEENS NY- RICHMOND (STATEN IS.) NY- 353 PM EST MON DEC 20 2004

... WIND CHILL TEMPERATURES ZERO TO 5 BELOW THIS EVENING...

COLD TEMPERATURES COMBINED WITH BLUSTERY NORTHWEST WINDS WILL RESULT IN WIND CHILL TEMPERATURES AROUND ZERO OR A FEW DEGREES BELOW THIS EVENING. THE WINDS WILL GRADUALLY DIMINISH TONIGHT. AS A RESULT... THE WIND CHILL TEMPERATURES SHOULD BE IN THE SINGLE DIGITS OVERNIGHT. BE SURE TO DRESS FOR THE COLD IF YOU ARE VENTURING OUT TONIGHT.

The only good thing about today is that I got 85% my wrapping done. I even managed to rid of the little scraps I've accumulated over the seasons. Per my cute buddy, Joe Kro, I'm Jewish when it comes to paper and floral tape. I'm cheap and use paper sparingly..which is why a roll lasts WAY too long with me!! I used to recycle Xmas paper from gifts I received! OY!!!

Posted by lindikins @ 6:23 PM | Link
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Winter Advisory 

Woke up and the temp is currently 10 degrees and the wind chill making it feel like it's only -4.

That's it, I'm staying in bed. Miki is no way in HELL going to school. The eerie winds kept me up all night as if the DVD was playing a horror flick with the TV off, but with my stereo sound ON.

Posted by lindikins @ 7:34 AM | Link
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Sunday, December 19, 2004

Shoe Craze 

Ever since I turned 30, something clicked internally.

Most of the things that I would normally bypass or would not concern myself with, had a place in my home or head. I would wake up one morning and make a decision to do something about it.

So...one morning, sometime after my 30th birthday, it occurred to me that I didn't have enough shoes. Yep...got up, sat on my bed and said, "I don't have shoes."

Truthfully at the time, I did not own more than 10 pairs of casual and formal shoes (not like the hundred of pairs my colleagues or buddies have). I was brought up in a family where a new pair was bought only after the first pair died out - not to accomodate any fads or trends. I just realized that the crap I owned looked pretty darn pitiful since they were so beatened up from me stomping around.

And sure enough, I did. After the declaration on that faithful morning, I bought at least two pairs of shoes every month. Since I've stopped working, the shoe frenzy has since died out. There's no need to match this suit with that pair of Joan & Davids or Anne Kleins...now it's just comfy granny shoes. I chucked out the 10 original scuffed pairs and collected 30+ new pairs based on my shopping sprees in the past 2 1/2 years. Oh..and I lost another 5 pairs from the WTC disaster - not that it mattered, those were cheap shoes anyway.

So...during yesterday's mall shopping, I miraculously found my very-hard-to-find pair of boots. I eagerly picked them up and nearly walked home in it. The bad thing was...I was prepared to buy ANOTHER pair because it was on sale. The mere fact that I can pick up something and not even consider think twice about its cost is rather scary. I remember back in the good ol' college days where buying anything more than was 20 bucks would send me into some serious convulsions. Gosh, I sound like that Mormon girl at Chie's former company. She was counting her dimes and pennies at Houlihan's while I did the math in my head (rounding up...I wasn't gonna quibble over a buck). She was surprised at my wacky and blunt nature...I seemed to have turned over many stereotypes in the recent months.

Nowadays, I could give a rat's ass. I find it interesting that perspectives do change over time - money doesn't really mean a whole lot if you know what you're doing - everything in MODERATION, of course. I used to be such a frugal freak that I would only shop from the sale rack. But being stuck with something you don't wear because it's not so attractive (but cheap) doesn't float anyone's boat. I had to give all of it away to Goodwill and also realized that I was better off paying the full price of an outfit I'd wear 10x over. Decluttering your home does ground my shopping habits...now I'm into QUALITY!

Linda's Life's lesson: Having lots of nice shoes will make you think twice about settling for less.

Oy...I can't write today...I have jello on my mind.

Posted by lindikins @ 5:19 PM | Link
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Thursday, December 16, 2004

Veddy Cold! 

It's frigid and cold over here. I have been inundated with all sorts of odd chores and errands and 'stuff' lately disallowing me to blog at a regular and normal pace. Boy, I hate to be unnecessarily busy.

It was freezing yesterday and I had to layer my child with a ton of clothing to prevent her little toes and fingers from falling off. She was so stuffed that she could only walk to school at a snail's pace. Keep in mind that I live in NYC, so it isn't as if our kids get picked up by a schoolbus and get carted off to school. We physically trudge our asses in a blizzard or a monsoon just so our child can learn how to write their first and last names.

So, she appeared to be a cross between the Michelin Man and a marshmallow. I was wearing a few layers myself and the sewage froze as well. It was especially important to watch where you were going!

Also returned some merchandise to my favorite department store, Century 21 (no, not the damn real estate company). The lines were maddening and I refused to shop today (Oh my! Now that's a first!) because of the nasty aftereffects from smelling too much Aqua Velva [*hacks*]. Obviously this dude got it as last year's Christmas gift and practically marinaded himself in it. There were guys in my job who soaked & smothered themselves in Old Spice, but this was atrocious. Aqua Velva is pungent like bad curry. Oy.

Tomorrow I will be off doing mommy duties by donating my time wrapping up children's gifts (therefore missing out on Buffy reruns) at the school as well as accomodating my rugrat to her NYC Museum trip. This is the school's second attempt to visit the museum as another school stole our school bus. Yep, that's right, another school had the same exact trip and hopped on our two buses. We were waiting for an hour until it was later discovered that there was an absurd mix-up. Gotta love it.

TTFN!
Posted by lindikins @ 11:04 PM | Link
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Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Loads of Laundry 

For those of you who haven't had kids yet...

Kids are absolutely wonderful. They love you unconditionally, say the darndest things and smell your farts with glee. But they generate one whopping big bill each month in various and unimaginable ways possible.

Now, I have done nothing else but loads of laundry today. Since I prefer not to dry my clothing to save moolah, my mom's place has become a large laundry line. Articles of clothing are hung up in every nook and cranny found possible. Like my former inbox at work, I try to keep my outstanding laundry load to a minimum.

With kids, there is an infinite amount to laundry. Within hours, the end result of their actions will always be related to a mountainous pile of dirty items.

Kids are EVERYWHERE in the home.

Purposeful functions include: carrying out household work by wiping floors and furniture, aiding dinners by wearing marinara sauce, and using their clothes as recycling alternatives to napkins.

Less purposeful and more burdensome instances are: vomit (there's a reason why mommy said you can't eat too much of that stuff), pee-pee accidents (there's another reason why mommy said to go and not to wait to the last second), spills (height and depth perspectives vary during growth spurts), more spills, nosebleeds (oh yuck) and those unfortunate moments when they don't pull their pants down low enough because they're racing against the clock. Boys get the front shirttails wet and the girls get the back.

So. with this in mind - Children's clothing are purchased in massive lots to keep up with "their" demands for cleaner outfits - that's a hefty Cost #1. Then consider the actual expense of doing the laundry - the electric & water bills, detergent & fabric softener, and most important of all, Time. I could be doing a number of extremely productive things, like catching up on reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in lieu of my child having laundered outfits and to appear well groomed (Bah!). Since Mother Time can not be replaced, the cost outweighs everything else.

Aiyah.
Posted by lindikins @ 1:27 AM | Link
Comments (5)

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Me No Likey 

Boy, shopping stinks. I usually love the challenges, but now that I have too much time to myself, I hate it. I would prefer to shop at my leisure and not have to fight for the lines during the day. I have decided that no one is getting gifts except for Miki's teachers. Everyone is getting a gift card. Call me insensitive, but getting a financial instrument on this merry and crazy holiday is the best you can go. Would you rather be stuck with a $25 dollar flannel shirt or a $25 gift card at Old Navy?

Heck, one should be happy that they're getting anything at all!

The only good thing I like about this season is wrapping gifts. Yes, I like wrapping because I like origami. I think I'll go apply at Macy's and wrap gifts as a seasonal worker.
Posted by lindikins @ 12:12 AM | Link
Comments (1)

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Wet Wet Wet 

It's been pouring dogs and cats for two days now. Thursday was fine until 3:30PM when the black and ominous clouds rolled into the sky.

My friends and I went to see a New Year's Eve taping of the Carson Daly show with Duran Duran performing outdoor in Rockefeller Center (same spot as Tears for Fears performing on the Today show!). Needless to say, we were soaked to the skin. Of course the umbrellas were not allowed! I'm gonna catch pneumonia next week!

Rained today and it was MISERABLE. Yeesh...what a wet year.

Signing off for now as the weather has genuinely dampened my spirits. Blearghhh...
Posted by lindikins @ 12:08 AM | Link
Comments (1)

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Unbelievably Lazy 

Okay, did nothing again today. I managed to do the laundry yesterday, but today? Nada!

Had Miki at home which meant that I would do nothing else but to listen to her rambling incessantly about Spongebob Squarepants. Blearghhh!!!

I absolutely can't stand him. Of all things in this world, my daughter has a deep fascination over an atrociously ugly sponge who talks as if he is suffering from a permanent wedgie. Whatever the F%$@ happened to Hello Kitty or Barbie? Granted, I could give a horse's ass about Barbie, but my kid is so not into the girl's stuff. Aiyah...

Today, I bought lots of chewing gum. I realize that I cannot survive without mints and gum.

I have also decided to potentially to skip writing Xmas cards out this year - which is completely unheard of. The queen of greeting cards and crafting does not want to embark on a continuous act of re-connecting with friends and loved ones. Wow. Now that's a first.

Ironically, I have more time now and would rather NOT write them. Maybe I'll write to the 5% of the population that I generally reconnect with. I didn't even bother with photocards either.

Hmmm..I must really adopted the art of laziness from Richard really well. Never thought I could actually do well in this category!

Posted by lindikins @ 11:11 PM | Link
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Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Brain Fart 

I don't know what's up with me, I can easily respond to emails and come up with an occasional and dazzling topic, but I can't figure out for the life of me what to post on a blog. Am I retarded or what?

Well, I have a few topics in mind to discuss:

  • Pedestrian/Stroller Road Rage
  • Jealous of What?!!??
  • Kids Say the Darndest Things
  • So Not a Coincidink
  • Fetid and Corrupt Moms Who are Verbally Flatulent at Miki's School

Must be the 2 tbsp of red vinegar I added to my soup I had earlier. I'm a sucker for vinegar or anything vinaigrette- based foods and one of these days, it'll burn a hole right through my stomach. I've been already told by both my internist and gastroentologist to swear away from that and coffee, but do I listen? Hell no, of course not. Granted, it's bad for me, but so was Fido (Fidelity)!

One of the few things I do miss about work is to torture people who absolutely need my help. I love giving them the raised eyebrow look while putting my foot on top of my CPU and superficially saying, "Yeessss??" There are no free lunches in this world and the returned favor better be good. Otherwise, I turn my cheek and proclaim how busy my day is with the influx of emails and telephone calls I needed to evaluate. Meanwhile, I would surf the web looking for seashells and musical mechanisms for my bride-to-be buddies.

I was told that I would make a good wedding planner, events organizer, computer programmer or a teacher. The latter bugs the heck out of me because I can't stand kids. Granted, I have and love one, but that doesn't mean I have to like others. I have no patience in teaching and would yell at my staff when they screwed something up. So how did anybody thought I would make a good teacher? I had an interesting way of illustrating to children at Miki's school and the kids would come up and talk to me. A lot of the parents thought I was the substitute teacher and most kids couldn't believe that I was 'just a parent'. Must have something with the way I talk and look.

Unfortunately, I look a lot younger than 33. I know I will regret saying this, but when you've been told you look young ALL your life, it gets to be very tiresome. No one takes you seriously and you can't get from A to B without PROVING that you have earned your place on this planet. I don't mind getting proofed, but to be bypassed for certain opportunities because you appear too young is extremely infuriating. So I'm always in a suit and stomp when I walk. Plus I get tired of these stereotypes. I'm supposedly sweet, quiet and polite. NOT! Hence, the sailor talk. Being vertically challenged doesn't help because people think you've just graduated from high school.

I still fancy the idea of being a programmer as I possess the natural knack of logic and understanding the general picture when it comes down with Systems. This is why Dogzilla hated my fricking guts because she had a Masters degree and wasn't making a whopping more than I did. My geeky friends would bail my ass out every time she deliberately set me up to fail - of course, to eliminate competition. In fact, I understood it so well that people in my company thought I was a programmer. But I let go of an opportunity because I was in no state of mind to learn something brand new or embark on a career change. Or, to be labelled as being incredulously geeky and pear-shaped. Didn't help since I wore glasses back then either.

Wedding Planner? Now that's funny. I think it's because I can manaage multiple projects at the same time. Really! I can chew gum and walk too! Before having Miki, my memory was exceptionally keen and I could keep up with my bridal buddies. I've been in so many weddings as the coordinator since they can't trust anyone else. So, I'm the one who's donning pants and flats so I could run around to help them keep it together. I don't know where social events planner comes from, but I 'll take that one anyway.

Anyhoo, I've rambled today. Maybe I'll write about the moms at school tomorrow. One of them schlepps was wondering why I'm late to school since we live so close to it. Well, it ain't her fking beeswax, is it???

Peace out! Today is such a disgusting day. Better to stay indoors and hide under the covers.

Posted by lindikins @ 3:28 PM | Link
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Monday, December 06, 2004

Hobo for a Day 

Oh my.

I did absolutely NOTHING today. Not a damn thing. Nada. Zip. I mean, I didn't even shop for one grocery item after dropping Miki off to school. After I got my necessary cup of Joe, I felt ready to tackle the laundry. But as soon I passed the front gate of my building complex I made a sharp left and went straight home. From there on, I made a few updates to Heather's blog and replied to a few emails this morning. Watched plenty of HGTV before passing out on my couch.

Before I attempted to get comfy on my beloved red couch, I set my alarm JUST IN CASE I would oversleep and look stupid for not picking up my rugrat. This the first time in a long while since I completely zoned out. Boy, it feels nice. And you wonder why I still don't want to go back to work.

Interestingly enough, I usually get a few phone calls every month from friends and former co-workers all wondering when the heck I would return to the debilitating rat race. One, no one could ever imagine me being a stay-at-home mom. Two, any firm hires a dope like me would get their money's worth. I'm not saying that I'm the best that there is, but I tend to kill myself over nothing - literally speaking. That's exactly what companies want, an underdog who'll do all of the work w/o making a peep. I mean, I'll grumble and swear like a sailor, but the work will be completed with such quality that I'm paid minimum wage for what I produce. That's just the way I work. I raise the bar so high that my colleagues and peers HATE my guts. That's just too bad for them.

So, people like my own mother wonder when I'm hauling my flat ass to work. She hates the idea that I'm practically dumping my earning potential just so I can catch up on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Gosh I'm just sooo lazy!

I did get up on time to pick up Miki and make shabu shabu for dinner. That's Japanese tabletop cooking with vegetables, tofu, noodles with thinly sliced beef cooked on top of a portable gas range. I was so lazy that I didn't even want to cook dinner and make everyone cook their own portions.

Now I'm sitting her with a 39 lb rugrat on my lap who is blowing raspberries straight into the crook of my arm. Not only is it disgusting and ticklish, but it sounds as though someone is having bowel movement as the end result of food poisoning. Oh gross! My arms are now wet and she's suffering from hiccups. She was cracking up so hard that her dinner nearly came out of her nose. Aiyah.

Off to bed!

Posted by lindikins @ 9:32 PM | Link
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Saturday, December 04, 2004

Anybody Got Some Prilosec or Nexium? 

I was in a rush to get the entry out last night that I didn't quite elaborate on a few details. For one, I didn't have crabs for dinner, my husband and I sat there and PICKED the crabmeat out. For TWO friggen hours we picked 4 crabs. That's really hideous. I had planned to make Maryland Crabcakes (HAH! ME?!! Cook?!?!) tonight, but I don't feel like it. Plus, I've got gut wrenching heartburn that screams (PLEASE!! NO MORE CREATIVE COOKING!!!). So it's a gruel night for me!

Because last night's task took so damn long, I ended up making breakfast for dinner. Yep, that's right, we had sausage, scrambled eggs, and buttered toast for dinner. Since it was apparent that there wasn't enough food, I dug up everything from the fridge - leftover white rice and leftover udon noodles. Basically ate any leftover that wasn't a week old.

Word of Advice: Try to avoid eating leftovers...it'll give you h. pylori virus which causes nasty bouts of gastritis and ulcers. Just thought y'all should know since us Chinese are infamous for not throwing anything out. If it ain't green or furry, it's still good!

Also, in this household...breakfast is served anytime I feel like it. I don't eat a normal/traditional breakfast (coffee is the main ingredient), so I serve it for dinner. Food is food, what does it matter if you have beef lasagna at 8AM? You can get breakfast served at a diner anytime you want it!

Then, I rushed to get my blog published because it was almost midnight and we haven't had cake yet. I was too full for an ice cream cake and just wanted to go to bed.

Now...I have two large bowls filled with crabmeat in my fridge. We'll see how bad it comes out tomorrow!

And as for my beloved buddy, Georgie, he's the king of cybersex. If the blog was too clean, then he'd find a way to taint it. So there's no freaking way this blog would ever remain 'spotless'!

Peace out!
Linda

Posted by lindikins @ 5:01 PM | Link
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Friday, December 03, 2004

I'm 33 Today! Man... 

So...how does one celebrate her birthday?

In my case, I woke up this morning with my beloved rugrat saying, "Mommy, I need to go pee-pee" at 6:10AM. I cursed to myself about the timing of this...why couldn't it be at 4AM instead of 6AM?

We only have to get up in another hour and once you fall back asleep, you just can't get your ass up. In fact, it's worse when you try catching up on sleep that way, your body is bound to the chains of Stage 5 sleep (REM) that ain't no way in hell can you get up. You begin to delusionally profess that you have caught the vicious flu and cannot wake up by any means.

Well, I picked up Miki and plopped her little body down on the toilet. I noticed that she was burning up and knew right then and there she was having a fever. Having a kid who used to get sick every 2 months when she was a wee tot, my instincts are far better than any doctor. Only moms can hone in immediately. So..Miki's fever was 101.

The last time she had a fever was during June. That's a pretty good record of being viciously ill for a kid who's prone to having her mom taking a 3-4 days off each quarter. No wonder I never seem to have enough vacation days!

Since I broached the subject of her June fever, I remember the day very well. I had a handyman come over to hang up my CD display case (Only Tears for Fears is on display, a-hem) and requested that her dad pick her up from school. Being genetically related to the devil, she made her father physically carry her home on a blistering hot and humid day. She screamed, ranted and raved for a Spongebob ice pop and threw tantrums out in public. Oh my!

Well, he brought the pissy child home and her hair was covered in sweat. She was in an awful mood and when I walked over to carry her, she was really heating up. Daddy, the doctor, attributed to her foul mood, while mommy, Dr. Mom, knew right then and there she was crabby because she was SICK!!! Yeesh...no friggen wonder why they require doctors to take their boards every decade! Her temp was only 99, but like I said, I KNOW when my kid is sick. Daddy was skeptical and refuses to acknowledge that I was right. He hates the idea that I might put the idiot out of business.

Well, back to my birthday, Miki stayed home with me. After coaxing her to take her Motrin, she miraculously showed no more signs of sickness. Unfortunately, tomorrow is another day...so we'll see.

Then I spent the afternoon putzing around. I couldn't get out of my pajamas and the thought of having to get dressed disillusioned me. I had to go out for coffee or else my brain would completely shut down. Then again, it hasn't quite functioned for a very long time, so it would be no different to many folks!

After lunch, Miki and I came home and I spent some time online shopping once again. 'Tis the season! It was nap time and we woke up 2 hours later by a god-awful phone call - damn these abhorrent survey takers! Instead of telemarketers, there is a new wave of people conducting surveys over the phone! ARGGHHH!!

The best survey I took was the one having to do with Indonesia's new government and whether or not I preferred Sutharto's dictatorship. I don't know about you, but when it comes topics like these - I don't give a SHIT! Nor would I hear of it on American TV!! Just because I have a Chinese last name does NOT MEAN I REPRESENT ALL OF ASIA. Speaking of which, I'm Chinese...how the F%&%#% did I become Indonesian overnight? Don't you people know there's a massive difference, especially when you're conducting a phone survey?!?!?! It's like comparing someone who is Mexican to someone who is Portugese!

Aiyah. Whatever.

Then, it gets better. Dad wanted to go out for dinner, but the brisk cold didn't entice me. So when he comes home, he finds me on the couch watching old reruns of Fear Factor. Great show to watch PRIOR to dinner, eh?

Well, I made him sit with me to pick out crab meat. Yes, we spent 2 hours tonight picking out CRAB MEAT. Why? Because I was stuck with some seafood delicacy and I had no choice but to boil them suckers last night. I don't WTF these people are thinking when they decided to give these things to us. I ONLY MAKE MACARONI AND CHEESE! HOW ON EARTH WOULD I KNOW HOW TO PREPARE LIVE SHRIMP AND XXL STONE CRABS?!?!?!?!

I mean...I'm going off the topic now, but really, this is fricking America! What's up with the lame ass Chinese tradition of giving doctors 'gifts' that are totally 'inappropriate' with today's society?! I mean, give me a break! Richard's patient walks in to thank him by giving him fricking 2-3 lbs of LIVE shrimp (f*ckers were jumping all over my floor when I tried to rinse them out in the sink) and not 3, not 4, but 5 live and huge crabs. Don't know what kind they are, but they're like giant blue/green crabs on steroids. These F*ckers were about 1 1/2 lb each, kinda like dungeness crabs.

I'm a mediocre cook, nothing too fantastic. BUT this is completely out of my league. So I had no choice to boil EVERYTHING. Had to keep my hand on the pot lid to prevent these guys from crawling OUT! UGH!

I just get annoyed when patients who want to do something for him and give him these gifts. You know, this isn't Old China where the bartering system worked quite well - like a cow for a triple bypass surgery or to trade ya for a hen to treat mah bunion. I know they mean well, but I'm the sucker who has to take the hit! OY!

Now my fingers are wrinkly and dry. Ewwww!! I need a manicure tomorrow!!
Posted by lindikins @ 10:42 PM | Link
Comments (8)

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Hooray for HGTV! 

I just love it. There can't be anything else better than it. What a way to start your morning coffee with a dose of Carol Duvall and crafting ideas.

Whoa. Now you think I need to get some Prozac into my system.

Crafting is great. It's fun, it's invigorating and it's awesome. But the hobby consists primarily of large, middle-aged and round women of America. Where the heck do I belong in this category?? I'm not in my late 30's, donning floral shirts or pear shaped. We need better looking crafters as well as more people involved with this!

Scrapbooking is fun. Before, I could never find any of the cool stuff and now they're everywhere, but at a cost that only Bill Gates can afford (Thank god for ebay). How truly unfair of this capitalist society. All along, I created various scrapbooks during my HS days. I did a lot of funky and cool things and chucked them out a few years ago. Why? Because it seemed pretty stupid to hold onto something that meant nothing at the time. Work really destroyed a lot of my inner creativity and individuality. Hanging out with a bunch of nasty people made me kinda pissy too.

Thankfully, I was able to redeem myself and now I'm at home doing a bunch of fun things. Crafting, home decorating, chasing after TFF and surfing for the sheer fun of it. I still have a lot of work to do, but overall, the experience is great!

Signing off for now because I don't feel like expressing myself. I'm in a weird funk today because I have a lot of paperwork to tackle and it ain't the easy stuff either. My mom not being around also adds a bit of stress as I have to maintain two homes and keep up with her annoying documentation. Then there's the landlord which I've always abhorred. Then there are a slew of ongoing and open to-do items that will probably be tattooed on my left butt cheek.
Posted by lindikins @ 2:59 PM | Link
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Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Yowza, Yowza, YOWZA!!! 

Well, I finally did it. It was long overdue, but I finally created this blog. I've been meaning to do this a long time ago, but I didn't know there was such a thing! Thanks to Heather, I am now entering a whole new world that allows me to put my thoughts down.

Well, I'm signing off for now...but this is truly cool!

Lindi
xoxoxo
Posted by lindikins @ 9:19 PM | Link
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