Okay, so my cable modem was out and I was suffering withdrawals due to severe deprivation of juicy gossipy emails, blogging, or shopping for the past few days.

When I talked to this lovely Customer Service Representative, he mentioned that the likely culprit was my malfunctioning cable splitter. We tested this by attaching the cable modem to the main line, sure enough, the lights and the transmission flow was normalized.

Off I go to find a splitter. Turns out that no one in Chinatown carries it and I'm outta luck.

I reconnected the cables to the splitter and the TV immediately came on before I fastened it. Upon realizing this, I attached the television cable to the 'faulty' side and connected the crucial cable modem to the 'good' side.

Lo and behold, it worked. It's the scientist in me, analyze all corners of the situation and then call it quits.

I haven't lost my touch, yet.

Cable modem is out for the week and I'm internet-deprived.

I guess it's a good week for origami, huh?

More later...

I guess after being a workflow expert for the past 5 years, I really dislike working IN the actual day-to-day operations of the process itself. I’ve built, established and revamped every process I’ve ever worked in, thereby, enhancing and optimizing the overall experience for a greater and smoother outcome. That being said, I’ve managed to raise the bar in all of my former positions and having every individual who succeeded after me to sorely hate my guts.

Hah.

So now at thirtysomething (Oh geez, I just realized I’m only 33 and not 34), I get extremely skeeved out when I have to do something completely manual. To me, the only acceptable form of manual labor is housework – there’s really no way around it unless you have hired help and a few hundred dollars to purchase some edgy gadgets. When I hauled my ass to the office due to my receptionist being on holiday, I was appalled.

Thankfully, I implemented little enhancements that made a huge difference. One, I purchased cordless 2-Line phones and insisted the girls set up the speed dial functionality. Initially, I got a bunch of smart-mouth alecs who claimed that using the automated phonebook would do the trick. I told them to JUST do it ‘cuz I NEEDED it.

Next thing you know, we’re all speed-dial happy. Granted they knew the toll free numbers by heart, those few seconds add up over time.

Then I installed DSL at the office to speed up verification of patient eligibility and coverage. Although only two out of the four major Medicaid HMO’s are available online, every friggen minute counts. Forty bucks on a monthly basis is definitely worth it.

Plus, I’ve started to devote most of my time on medical billing and sorting out the quirky anomalies found in these report received each month. During Yuki’s absence, I spent time with dealing patients and their Neanderthal behaviors more than anything else.

Then there’s Melinda. Another f—kinig office crackpot.

She has been working in the office – for free – to gain work experience since she’s part of some school program for clinical/administrative assistants. OMG – she is actually WORSE than either of the two Graces. Grace the JW, at the very least, took orders well and got her job done. Melinda, however, seems to be suffering from a severe case of hyperactive Imusthavethelastwordandcannotseemtoshutthehellupevenaftermyscrewups.

Okay, what right do I have for picking on a wino especially since I talk a lot? I DON’T TALK SHIT ALL DAY. Okay, so I do sometimes…but I’m not so full of fecal matter when I err. I take it, leave it, and move right along.

This goddamned incompetent nincompoop could never find any of the charts, lack a sense of order, could not greet or assist the patients with their needs, and worst of all, can’t shut the fook up. While I’m on the phone trying to verify patient eligibility through the automated system, she’s yapping endlessly over nothing. It’s not as though she’s trying to alert me of something critical, she’s busy gabbing about everything completely irrelevant to what we’re trying to accomplish here – like chocolates, time, or fricking weather. I get stuck having to redo the same process over and over again because of her irritating motormouth.

Worst of all, she complains out loud. Although she’s rather soft-spoken, her complaints are loud enough for everyone to hear. Every time she whines about how she can’t find the patient’s charts, somehow I magically yank it right out of the cabinet in less than 2 minutes. Soon after, she’d launch a defensive soliloquy to cover her tracks…and cruelly enough, I’m subjected to this form of dim-witted torture. Why it pisses me off so? When I’m on the voice activated system, her constant yapping disrupts the verification process. F—king gotta start all over again.

When I asked her to verify eligibility online and she manages to shut the pc down. It really makes me wonder how people like her survive all of these years and managed through life. Oy. This is one is not even worthy to be fed to the hyenas.

I was livid to find her in the office yesterday, since I had specifically requested that she should find a career in scrubbing toilets. Next week, I’m gonna sack her myself. Dead weight does nothing for me.

The day's over, ALREADY?

Damn. No time to do anything and I have to work tomorrow and Saturday.

Ick.

Without a doubt, I pay weekly visits to ebay checking out some of the cool things for sale. I shop mostly for odds and ends, the favorite ticketed items all involving scrapbooking and origami materials.

As y'all know, I'm a paper & ribbon fanatic. I love paper - whether it's for writing, crafting, wrapping, or folding, I GOTTA HAVE IT. I spend more money on paper & ribbons than all of the clothing purchases over the past 10 years. We're talking some serious obsession here. Plus, it's really nice to know that I'm NOT the only one who behaves this way!

Last summer, I discovered crafting. After engorging myself hours of HGTV, I quickly learned the fun techniques related to rubber stamping. Since I had a penchant for stamping as a kid, you have no idea how excited I was with my creative prospects. This is how I discovered ebay.

While searching for the perfect Japanese-themed stamp, I found a merchant who actually made stunning origami dolls and sold them online. I was completely mesmerized - transported to a place where there were bright blue skies, big puffy white clouds, and the golden sun shining all year long - these dolls were fantastic.

In my predictable buying behavior, I was prepared to click "Buy It Now" button and purchase them. Not only did I wanted to own these magnificent little pieces, I wanted to learn how to make them. But something held me back.

The more I looked at the dolls, the more I realized that I could simply make my own. With closer observation, the folds were actually quite simple, it was the cutting and measuring which would pose as some level of difficulty.

Now that I wasn't working, I needed to be challenged. So I dug up my 8 year old traditional Japanese dollmaking kit and tore it apart. Years ago, I was intimidated with the measurements and the lack of English instructions. Now at an intermediate/advanced level, the degree of difficulty would be more than welcomed. I could never get myself to use those beautiful kits in fear of ruining the gorgeous paper with my deformed creations.

My first doll looked like it suffered from overreactive lymph nodes. The second was a tad bit better, but the third looked decent with a lopsided head. More than anything else, making these origami dolls comprised of refined cutting and plenty of gluing.

After hitting this major milestone, I moved onto creating simple little ones. Basically, it was a cutout with only three folds and a lotta glue.

During this time, I was extremely determined - practically unstoppable - and wanted to make them every single day and night in August of 2004. All because of this ebay merchant's listing, I wanted my dolls look similar to her handiwork.

Seriously, I think I made well over 70 dolls and have given 80% of them away.

I had also planned to sell them on ebay, but was too lazy to get around to it. I know for a fact that if I mounted them on blank card stock, they would sell. Besides, I prefer the challenge of making the traditional dolls over the simplistic ones any given day. I don't mean to boast, but...I really do think my dolls look far better than some of the crap online. Some of these origami dolls are so crude looking, I don't know how anyone could even glance or purchase it. The craftsmanship stinks and there's practically no effort needed to put the doll together.

Hopefully I'll revisit this avenue in the next month. I absolutely enjoy making them. Ironically, the ones intended for my friends always came out perfect while the ones intended for myself had some kind of inexplicable oddity attached to it. Oy.

I made this one for Jessica - all materials were purely from recycled paper and scraps. Nice, eh? It's all about the handiwork baby!

Janie's 2nd ribbon rose bouquet (The Pain-in-the-Ass asked for ANOTHER bouquet even though I made a lavender one already!)...this puppy's HUGE - 28 pcs made in a week. A week after I quit Fido, I was completely strung out and NEEDED to make a bunch!

This was a red/gold ribbon rose bouquet made for a Fidelity co-worker who was getting married in the fall. A very simple and basic 12 pc bouquet I generally make when I'm in the mood. I love folding buds, but ABHOR sticking the floral tape around the wire!

After I mastered the art of creating traditional origami dolls, I boldly took out my other 8 year old kit and created this. The beautiful washi paper makes perfect creases and wonderful to touch. No wonder it costs 9 bucks for a 6x6 pack of 10! I restyled her hair because the original instructions makes her head look like a football helmet.

I really hate this job. Being out of MANUAL work for so long, my old bones and joints are a-cracking.

Ugh.

Woke up at 11:22AM and fell asleep on the couch.
Woke up at 1:00PM because someone was making a ruckus and later fell asleep.
Woke up around 2:12PM and really didn't want to move out of the sofa.
Got out of the apartment for some grub and came home feeling sleepy again. It's 4:40PM and I'm ready to fall asleep again.

I think I'm narcoleptic.

Did I tell you that I'm working almost 6 straight days a week?

Really.

I've noticed a few changes around the school...mostly due to my constant complaining and defiance. From my perspective, I shouldn't be bitching about adhering to the Handbook...heck, don't parents usually BREAK the rules?? Don't we generally spoil and allow our kids to have it their way?

In the recent weeks, I fought with Mikayla on some really STUPID issues. Her new teacher allows the kids to bring in toys, get up and walk around the classroom, and snack sharing. This was never allowed in any of Mikayla's previous classes and now I'm hollering at my kid over stupid shit.

One day, I get a homework assignment stating that my kid will get tested on her Halloween performance. WHAT?! TESTED?!?!!!! So, if my kid doesn't get 'it'...am I supposed to dropkick Miki from here to Timbuktu to get her to memorize the material!??

I stomped my way to school just to pick a bone. Honestly, I wasn't really THAT upset about the testing. I saw this as an opportunity to attack the issues that were igging the heck outta me. Might as well kill sixteen birds with one big boulder.

I confronted the principal (aka the cow) whether or not kindergarten children got tested in classrooms. Based on the homework assignment, my kid's academic career could potentially be in ruins if she doesn't figure out "Ten Little Pumpkins" by Halloween.

For the first time, the cow actually apologized and implied the misuse of the word. After explaining to me what the teacher's intents and purposes for well over 15 minutes, I abruptly cut her off to discuss other problems at hand with the school.

It took the teachers 2 years to get Mikayla to focus in class and now she's really losing it both at school and at home. Motivation is clearly lost and she makes numerous wise-ass excuses to avoid doing any homework. Previously, she was diligent enough to take the work right out of her bag, sit her cute butt on the chair, and start the assignment on her own.

Now? She heads straight to her prized dinosaur collection and pretends to be a Mommy Tyrannosaurus Rex chewing a Jurassic herbivore to bits. Screw addition and the alphabet.

When I complained about how the children bringing toys in, the retarded cow began to explaining away the psychological aspect in the children's behavior. Heck, I'm a mother and I know better than anyone else WHY they're bringing this crap in. I don't care why, just friggen stop the madness and stay in compliance with the handbook!

The farty cow shot me a blank look. She actually had the nerve to tell me that it isn't in the handbook. Excuse me? A document you regard second to the bible, you're now telling me this old-school rule no longer exists? Waitagoshdarnminute...since when did I start smoking dope?

I sarcastically proclaimed it was OKAY to bring toys and we, as parents, should all dump the school handbook. After all, we don't need to adhere to any policies and do whatever the heck we like. Ooooh! I can't wait to publicly make this announcement to the other parents about this!

Only thing that truly saddened me was how many trees from the Amazon forest had to be cut down to produce multiple copies of this now obsolete guide.

Idiot retracted and started to verbally go around in circles. Got her on this one.

After our the discussion, I found out from my daughter that the stupid cow marched into her classroom, scoured all of the cubbies and found toys galore. Dismayed at the notion of being wrong, she 'yelled' at the kindergarteners and declared how toys are NOT allowed in school.

Two up for me.

The thing is...this is the kind of shit I should NEVER have to complain about. As a parent, I should be bitching about other crap related to individual concerns rather than the class as a whole.

Round 3 coming up...Parent Teacher Conference next Friday.

In the Chinese culture, there's something to be said about names. There are fortune tellers who assist in the process of creating the 'perfect' name for a newborn child in hopes of securing a wonderful future or to minimize the child's ill-fortune. So, names are not to be taken lightly and even the total number of strokes of the characters make a difference.

That being said, some folks are anal retentive about it and some, could give a rat's ass.

Names are generally conjured up based on the combination of a word identifying the individual by family generation and with a character uniquely identifying the person. It's usually arranged in this order: Last Name, Generation Name, and Unique Name OR Last Name, Unique Name, and Generation Name.

For example, my chinese name is Mah Sui Jen. Mah is the family name, Sui is the name which appropriately identifies me by generation, and Jen is my 'actual' name. My bro's name is Mah Sui Kee - this naming convention stretches over to my assholian paternal cousins as well. Because they are Chinese immigrants from the motherland, their names were translated from Mandarin rather than Cantonese (mum and dad emigrated from Hong Kong). Now them Asian rednecks are called Ma Rui Guo, Ma Rui Jiang, Ma Rui E, etc.

Plus, no Jr.'s or Sr.'s are allowed in our customs, a very big no-no. Can't have the younger generation mixed in with the previous one.

You get the picture.

The HYSTERICAL part about my name??? The ultimate & ironic glory in all of this?

I DEFY my name. Yessirree...I do. 静 means still, quiet, calm, and unmoving.

After experiencing difficulty and headaches with her first spoiled child, mum decided to give me a name that would reflect some peace and relief when she was having her second kid. According to my parents, I was the perfect baby: obedient, slept through the night, never fussed, etc. It worked for the first 12 years until I reached junior high school. Then all hell broke loose.

I ain't gonna lie...and it's a fact - I'm very LOUD. Not only am I my mother's child, my ears were plugged up for over 2 1/2 decades and couldn't hear myself speak. As a habit, I generally spoke very loud and STILL can't hear myself (even though my ears are now squeaky clean, if you care to know). Furthermore, my lungs work extremely well. As a native New Yorker, I can easily keep up with an auctioneer in a conversation and maybe conduct one at Sotheby's. Did I tell you how abrupt and short the Chinese language is as well?

Yes, this is one of the better ironies in my life. People DIE when they find out my Chinese name. They laugh so hard that their internal organs are coming outta their nostrils.

Okay, now that you've gain some understanding of the so-called significance with Chinese names, now you'll understand why this sent me reeling across the living room -

I was fiddling with the anagram master earlier, and for whatever the crazy reason, I decided to enter Lisa's name from her previous marriage. This is what I came up with...

Oh this is fun...y'all have to try this!!

http://www.anagramgenius.com/server.html

I started to blog and fell asleep.
I came home and sat on my couch. Fell asleep.
I woke up in the morning to wake up Mikayla. Mum comes over and I head back to sleep.
My brain is mush and fell asleep.
My body is sore and all I wanna do is sleep.

I am wiped out from standing and guarding the damn door. Damn these annoying patients. I got into a pissing match with a guy who wanted surgery RIGHT NOW and being scheduled on the 21st wasn't soon enough for him. I don't eat lunch until 4PM. These fricking people just keep on coming and coming...

I have an unfinished blog from last Sunday and it doesn't seem like I'll be getting to it anytime soon.

See you in December when Yuki gets her rotund ass back.

It’s been so long since I’ve properly blogged that I don’t even know what to say.

Hah! Me, without words?

But no, not a lot has been going on except work and more work. The office is piling up and now that we’re down one person, I have to balance my time carefully especially since I’ve been so lax with it for too long.

School is uneventful with the exception of me sending nasty grams. Here’s the latest one:

Linda Mah wrote:

Dear Teacher Irene,

Thank you for your response.

With all due respect, I understand that the HSC book is a new system implemented for the 2005-2006 school year; however, I find that email is a much more formidable type of communication as those the size of post-it notes by no means can effectively communicate the merit of our issues and concerns as a parent. Furthermore, I had enclosed a few messages in the past which continue to remain unanswered.

Please understand that I am not suggesting that you “force” or browbeat children into practicing virtues, it would be detrimental for everyone involved in such process. I am not interested in preaching to you the school practices, but simply adhering to policy as dictated in the handbook. But in the past 2 years, what I’ve seen and experienced the classroom dynamics have been seriously dismissed in your class. Since children learn by observing, modeling virtuous behavior encourages and promotes good character in them and even enforces discipline. Many children are ready, they’re just not motivated. However as a parent, I cannot sit by and watch these children take control of the situation and let the noise levels go up.

I’ve established excellent relationship and rapport with all of my daughter’s teachers and respected their executive decisions and abilities. I have constantly shown support and never commented on how they run their classes or agenda. However, I see much disarray in your class which prompted me to compose this email to mitigate certain issues. Please understand that I am not interested in relegating your position as the head teacher, but the current environment within Charity is barely our meeting expectations. Because TKS encourages parental involvement, it is important for us parents to feel a part of the class, not to be ostracized from it. I speak for many of the “senior” parents of the school and we have tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, but nothing has reaped from our patience.

Furthermore, along with other parents and myself, we approached Ms. Eng to address our concerns. Ms. Eng being your superior, we fully expected her to bring you up to par with the school’s mission, as well as the expectations from parents, children, and the community. It is her utmost responsibility to oversee the process and I know for a fact that there was breakdown in communications because none of these issues were addressed.

Like I mentioned previously, I’m not writing this email to berate or vent my frustrations, but to bring awareness of the current situation at hand. If you wish, I can work with you, along with the support of other parents, in order to find a happy medium and set politics aside. But that’s your call.

Regards,

Linda

This was her cheesy response:

-----Original Message-----
From: Irene Wong [mailto:wongire@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, November 03, 2005 5:26 PM
To: Linda Mah
Subject: RE: Charity Class

Dear Linda,

I understand that you are concerned about your child's education and I would like to work together with parents to get the best outcome. I would like to know what are some of your ideas and what we can work on to create a happy medium.

Been oddly sick, Yuki's out, and there's a ton of stuff to do at home.

Will try to make time before the week expires.