Anyway, the incident left me with a very bitter aftertaste in the back of my mouth. I was furious, and believe me, I don’t think anyone quite understood my anger.

To be humiliated and trashed around by someone you know is an act far more despicable than from a complete stranger. You question the individual’s motive and try to rationalize WHY they possessed the compulsion to go on this malevolent power trip. But nothing comes to my mind.

However, the answer is quite simple…you and I are neither dysfunctional nor incorrigible in any sense. Erm, my hobbies include origami, Tears for Fears, aquarium fish, and last but not least, I enjoy giving my full support to my beloved friends. The last time I checked, social bigotry disgusted me - especially if putting down people because of their class, age, gender, or social status is considered a national pastime.

However, if the individual was being STUPID, then I have but no choice to set them straight.

For YEARS, I’ve put up with everyone else’s bullshit. My mother, as strong as she was, had a preference for “letting go” issues rather than resolving them. Folks from my parents’ generation would only fight tooth and nail only if they were cornered like a rat - they didn’t rely on their fight or flight mechanisms 24/7 like these guys today.

As a result, I grew up walking away from problems and issues. Confrontations were never my forte and I could never muster enough energy to tell someone off. My brains were scattered, the words were disjointed, my hands would tremble…I was too angry and petrified to tell someone how awful they’ve offended or hurt me.

Of course my actions came back to bite me big time. However, being a mom, confrontations have become easier to deal with – like a mother bear protecting her cubs from the evil hunters of the world. Anyone or anything getting near my child with a 10 mile radius, better watch out – I’ll dismember you to bits with my bare hands and canine teeth.

But at work, confrontations remained difficult. When I met Barbara, I decided to become a stupid-assed manager to deal with confrontations head-on as well as minimizing the intimidation or pressure to please everyone. Bad, bad habit, I tell you. Barbara informed me it wouldn’t take too long since I had the bitch factor inside me. Give it time and it’ll foster its own growth.

Being in my own domain, I was well aware of how these Neanderthals behaved and the absolute need to have the final word. Hell, I wasn’t going to let these people degrade me in any sense and I was ready to jump their ass like white on rice. My Chinese may not be up to par as my mum’s, but my attitude alone speaks for itself. Don’t you even think about messing with me.

So, two days after the cow infested my office, I was keeping an eye out for more of this crap. I don’t how else to explain it, but I knew more was coming.

Goshdarnit, was I right.

Lo and behold, the king of the porcelain bowls walked into my office. I had been keeping an eye out for this asshole since June. The thing is, no matter what you do in my office and no matter who the feck your momma is, you can’t escape me. I have an exceptionally KEEN memory when it comes to these odd occurrences. So don’t get on my bad side, ‘cuz I remember EVERYTHING.

Back in June, he rang up the office speaking Cantonese and DEMANDED a Friday appointment. It just so happens we were ‘closed’ for Mikayla’s graduation. When Tina made an exception for him to be seen on Thursday morning (we were fully booked that week), she asked for his name.

He screamed, “TUNG!” in Cantonese.

“Is it D-O-N-G?”, asked Tina.

“You don’t KNOW? FUCK YOU!” (That’s in English, of course) and slammed the phone.

Again, the poor girl was in tears. *Sigh*

Unbelievable. So when the ass barged into my office that same FRIDAY (the Friday where they were no appointments available), he pushed his way through others so he could go first. WTF?!

A tiny woman confronted him and told him off. She was waiting since 10AM and was next…not some 6 ft loud mouth who acted like he owned the place. He was taken back by her frankness and sat his butt down on the chair. Of course, he had something to say…remember? These schleps gotta have the last word.

He droned on and on about his impeccable knowledge in diabetes, how long he has been seen in our office, how Rich never committed to his office hours, and how Rich would have dim sum downstairs while deliberately making patients wait on him.

I wanted to tear him a new asshole. But Rich HATED whenever I confronted people over their heinous conduct and I was sick of arguing about it at home. Give it to someone who won’t tell his nasty patients off, but shit on ME because he’s now in a bad mood. No wonder these assholes keep on coming back…who’s gonna reprimand them for picking on us?

When the schmuck left, I then REALIZED he was the abusive caller. He was diabetic asshole who said all he needed were prescriptions and his last name was Dong (in Mandarin) / Tung (in Cantonese).

So I blacklisted the motherfucker.

When he marched his ass again last Thursday, I asked him in professional tone of voice not to use “strong” language on the phone. It was unnecessary because we have been very accommodating and he had been a long-time patient in our office.

So what do you think was his reaction?

Instead of denying the accusation or claim that I was the one offending him, he completely flipped out. He started screaming and throwing a crazy fit in my office about how “I don’t know” and how he wasn’t going to acknowledge me since I was a lowly receptionist who registered patients in all day. He continued with his insulting rant on how I was pretending to be “bigger and better than everybody else”- when in my sad reality, my ultimate existence originated on the lower rung of the food chain. Alritey then…

I responded that I wasn’t better than anyone else. I stated very calmly that he if he didn’t cut the crap, I would call the police. He dared me and I dialed 911.

Whatever you do, just never dare me.

At this point, he was shitting bricks – he clammed up and sat his ass on a chair. With my blood boiling inside of me, I stood up from my seat and STARED at him coldly. He couldn’t even look me in the face. I practically egged a middle-aged man, standing at 6 feet, weighing about 170 lbs, to launch another tirade against me.

When it was his turn, I intentionally skipped him over to the patients who came after he did. I then launched an all-English tirade (with lots of fancy F words, no less) on top of my voice – THIS IS MY OFFICE, I say what goes and you’ve got NO power OVER me.

He was getting nervous as the clock was ticking by and the cops were coming. I didn’t care whether they came and arrested him, I REFUSED to allow anyone to bully me because they thought they could. Seeing him wracked with anxiety and nervousness told me how I’ve won this battle.

It just so happens I received a phone call with an individual asking for a Mrs. Chan. Over the phone, I was curt and demanded to know who wanted to speak with me. When the shithead realized I wasn’t a mere receptionist, he was ready to explode. Although Rich saw him anyway, I made my presence very obvious in the exam area by slamming doors and my expert use of profanity. He tried to complain about my exceptional personality and how he was deliberately passed over…weak argument considering he really didn’t have one. Gotta have the last word?

I think not.

Bring on the next motherfucking asshole. I’m ready.

Part I

As you can see, I don’t run a typical doctor’s office. More or less, it’s synonymous to those planned parenthood clinics where they pass out free birth control pills, condoms, and morning after pills.

I would’ve preferred running a fee-for-service business, but what can you do? For years the practice reaped very little from the miniscule amounts it sowed. Prior to Rich enrolling in those family health plus plans, he barely saw 10 people a day.

The insurance companies do not reimburse for the amounts billed; instead, they compensate the provider with a lump sum (known as capitation payments) based on the number of members registered under his/her panel. According to the contracted agreement, providers are paid a whopping $13 - $22.50 for each individual member. So, building up and maintaining these rosters are critical to financial security.

It sounds pretty hunky dory, but there’s a catch. Certain folks haunt the office as though there are frequent flyer miles to be earned. Since we are reimbursed by head count, there is no credit for follow-up visits. On a day-to-day basis, I’ll see a mix of those who come in a few times in a week, versus those who never even stepped foot into our door. Although we benefit from these cap payments, but I’m still wondering if it’s all worth it.

Remember the whole bit about collecting $5 co-payments? Well, there other doctors competing in Chinatown for headcount and have done away with these “trivial” payments. This obviously makes those abominably insane crackpots very happy to save those precious five dollars while waiting for hours.

Wait, isn’t time money?

This, of course, has a major impact on how Chinatown operates as a whole. First off, patients are under the premise that they’re not obligated to pay or they’re Medicaid recipients. Second, when they leave their doctor’s office to pick up their prescriptions, they initiate loud pissing matches with cashiers and pharmacists because they’ve just discovered their drugs cost moolah – a whopping 3 bucks for generic drugs and $6 brand-name drugs.

Gosh is life harsh.

Thirdly, they continue rioting at the specialist’s office because they can’t understand why filthy rich doctors want their measly $5.

It’s helluva domino effect.

Why my office needs to collect co-payments? I’m not gonna lie…money is damn good. Why shouldn’t I ask for it? Heck, it’s great to receive some chump change at the end of the day. But there’s one supremo reason why it must be paid…and it’s got nothing to do with earning revenue or any sort of remuneration.

Believe it or not, collection of such funds ENFORCES the PRINCIPLES of practicing medicine. Yessiree, it does.

Due to the high number of individuals exploiting these benefits, paying for each visit keeps them in check. Remember, not all folks are especially keen about having to pay $5 for a specialist referral. Furthermore, Rich will not give into many of their whims because he truly believes in following protocol.

So they leave us. I’m not worried ‘cuz it’s less crap from these folks.

Because of the enormous size of their member panels, competitive doctors have a different methodology of operationally managing their medical practice. In order to meet the high demands (and the influx of people), doctors generally succumb to the patient’s whims just so they can get them out. No questions asked.

Meanwhile, we’re here arguing with them about medical necessity. They could give less shit and they’ll try to negotiate as to why they don’t have to pay me.

No wonder I act like a constipated bitch.

I think the stars and moon were somehow misaligned last week. Something happened where vile and foul patients decided to appear in my office and amuse themselves by shitting on my receptionists.

Last Tuesday, I walked my ass in late since I wanted to spend time with my mum and Miki. I found poor Tina trembling in anger and was close to tears because some bitch verbally launched a vicious attack against her. At first, the woman was irritated having been placed on the waiting list (no appointment, of course), and was nasty because the girls asked for her insurance card. The girls paid her no mind and had forgotten to put her name down on our register.

In the waiting area, patients generally eyeball one another to determine who would be next in line. The bitching cow gauged around the room and realized the girls had “deliberately” skipped her when Tina called in one of the self-paid patients. In a matter of seconds, she blurted out malicious words to demean the receptionists and declared how little girls like Tina needed to be put in her place. In an attempt to shut this cow up, Tinny shouted back as well as the other patients who were waiting..

Okay, I’m not saying that this despicable behavior is acceptable, but we generally expect such incidences from the Neanderthals every so often.

BUT…I had no idea who this fecking cow was. Seeing how distraught Tina was, I made a point to ask Rich who the psychocunt was. I wanted to confront this individual and exact vengeance because I will NOT tolerate such a contemptible act against us.

When he told me who it was, I literally hit the roof - HARD. I was extremely LIVID.

You know how angry I was? Red zones, man, red zones. This bitch rivaled with Colleen Esposito, for those of you who know me, this is a BAD, BAD thing.

I could not sleep that night.

It turns out…this fecking cow was a so-called family friend. She was my mother’s mahjong buddy, someone who babysat Mikayla for a few weeks when mum suffered from macular degeneration, a neighbor who asked me to resolve her telephone and cable bills, and somebody close enough to invite us to her son’s wedding years ago.

You have no idea how revolted I was to find out my neighbor vocally defecating on my favorite receptionists. No, not by those crude illegals - but by an individual who’s been in the US for over 2 decades soaked from head to toe in our Americanized customs. From the surface, she didn’t appear to fall in the Socialist ranks of those who leech off the government dry or manipulate the system for her benefit. Aren’t looks deceiving.

Hell, she’s WORST than those Cro-Magnons I’ve been pissed off about.

The next day, I marched right up to my office, yanked her chart out, and dialed her home number. Apparently I roused her from deep slumber (at 12PM?) and demanded to know why she waged a war in my office. As she tried to explain, I abruptly cut her off, declared that she could no longer be seen in our office, and had no right to mouth off as though she owned the place. Of course, I didn’t put it so eloquently. My Chinese oozed out of me in large blotchy pieces thanks to my anger.

Then I clicked the phone off.

Both Tinny and Tina were surprised by my behavior. Although I’ve always told them how to exact revenge against those who wronged us (not in any spiteful way - delays, feigning forgetfulness, purposely unable to verify insurance information, etc.), they never conceived the notion of me screaming the fuck out of someone.

15 minutes later, the cow rang back and demanded to know why I yelled at her. WHY? Are you kidding me? I yelled about how I didn’t appreciate her snide remarks, how she picked a fight with a little 20-year-old girl, and so forth. As she bit back in defense, I hollered, “I DON’T CARE WHAT SHE SAID TO YOU, IT’S WHAT YOU SAID TO HER!” and clicked again.

Mum taught me how to hang up in mid-sentence.

I swore throughout the entire day and scared the living daylights outta the girls.

To be continued…

Remember the old saying, if you don’t have anything nice to say about someone then don’t say it?

Methinks the opposite takes place here.

Part of the reason why I’ve been a bit quiet…well, I’ve been battling with my old demons again. Nothing new, but fighting wears me out.

On top of that, I had been subconsciously obsessed with purging – in the most literal sense. I guess my capacity for tolerance reached an all-time low while the toxic buildup hit a record-breaking high. I decided to “spill” my guts and remove whatever excess crap perceived within my field of vision. It made a small impact. The energy moved, but not in any significant way.

Oh well. I stayed away from the office not because I couldn’t maintain normal sleeping hours, it was due to the fact that I was completely fed up with these bickering patients. The seems to be no fecking end to their complaining or their absolute need to have the final word. This very behavior is by far, the most reprehensible in all of mankind.

So if I request their insurance card, what do I get?

Why? You’ve got my insurance information, it’s in those folders.

What for? I’ve been here many times.

Doctor knows me. I don’t need to give you my name.

You DON’T know me by now?

You can’t transcribe my Chinese name? Damn, you’re lame.

Brilliant, how the fuck am I going to look up charts with their names in Chinese? When I inform them that everything is in English, they look at me like I’m some asshole. Since my office averages about 30-40 people per day…it gets TIRING when you hear the SAME bullshit every 20 minutes each day.

Furthermore, yes, there’s more…these illegals have a nasty habit of belittling receptionists because office staff exist on the lower echelon of the food chain in their small minds. I know for a fact these imbeciles are deliberately shitting on Tina and Tinny for their entertainment purposes (this of course, takes place when I’m NOT around). God I can taste the bile coming up.

Unfortunately, we cater to a rotten, putrid group of rural bastards who exploit every benefit OUR government offers to these rodents. Because of their Communist upbringing, these people believe in taking advantage to the fullest extent possible. They will go for every lab test, MRI, weekly visits because it’s free or it’s priced cheaply. Unfortunately, as despicable as these acts are, this is their survival skill…take what you can get because you don’t know what tomorrow will bring.

The irony of this reprehensible behavior? The older Chinese generation, the sojourners (like my mum and dad), believe it is deplorable to excessively misuse medical services. Remember karma what does? Well, abuse it and you’ll lose it.

The damned Commies successfully brainwashed these assholes to take advantage of everything - from food stamps to random acts of kindness. No need to reciprocate generosity because Americans are wasteful, gullible fools who would be willing to give everything away. Yeah, and I’m one of those suckers.

Consumed with disgust, I can’t help scowling when these people set their foot into my office. To further my resentment, their Cro-Magnon ways are equally atrocious. We’re talking about their abilities to expel sputum on the floor, manually clearing out their nasal passages w/o tissue, and middle-aged women who sit with one leg up on the chair. Man, if my parents saw me sitting in the same position, there would be one bitchslap from my papa to the right side of my head and another whack to the left from my momma.

Truthfully, not everyone is horrible. There are people who refuse to be identified with these imbeciles and despise for being shoved into the same category. It’s like manna from heaven when these folks have a field day mouthing off on these schmucks.

Now, keep in mind that the majority of these people are all under the complex Medicaid and NY State funded family health insurance plans which grants them access to doctors and facilities for zero premiums. These folks go gaga over the benefits because it’s freeeeeeee!

Of course, we business majors all know from Economics 101, there is no such thing as free lunches. But I digress…

The thing is, our patients are paranoid about their health. Stemming from the sociological issues from their own motherland, these people are under the belief that the more invasive the procedure, the better. In China, the upper class (yes, it exists, despite what Mao preached) can meet the expense of costly medical procedures and afford the luxury of what they consider to be a peace of mind. Of course, the poorer folks are left to suffer their ghastly fate based on their social class. Ironic, ain’t it?

Another stupid confrontation I deal with is soliciting co-payments because prying them for $5 is like performing a root canal.

Other doctors don’t take co-pays, why should you?

I’m on Medicaid. (No, you’re not, you schmuck)

I thought this is free.

I forgot to bring money.

Um, I need to use the bathroom first. (Skips town)

I’ll give it to you AFTER I see the doctor.

What? $5 for a referral??

Why isn’t this free?

This is totally bullshit medical insurance.

This is FAMILY plan…we are a FAMILY, so we only pay you $5 for ALL of us.

Heck, while we’re at it, let’s add another line for 9.99 to your current mobile phone plan.

Whatever.

To be continued…

I sensed a deep and great despair two nights ago. Initially I thought it was coming from one person...but in the past 24 hours, it's everyone whom I love dearly.

Sending you thoughts of love and this too, shall pass.

OOh...my keyboard is dusty. Says a lot, doesn't it?

It appears that some higher being has sprayed some repellent at my puter station. I really don't fancy typing or sitting in front of the pc for long periods of time. In fact, I can't even answer my emails promptly. It's weird, but I keep thinking I've replied to everyone when all I've done is composed mental emails. Of course, these thoughts don't have physical manifestations...so they sit in my inbox for at least 3-4 days...or even longer.

*Sigh*

I need inspiration!

Now who would've thunk - ME - of all of the people in this planet, would stay away from the computer?!?!?!?!!? Judgement Day is coming!!!! Hyuk!