About Ping
So…whilst we were running around in circles, screaming at Cro-Magnon patients, and doing a ton of things at once, we had an office “nanny” to do the dumbest crap on the face of the earth. As useless as she was, she was only good for 25% of the stuff I had no time for. At least there was someone to change the exam table paper, grab lunches, centrifuge blood samples or partially sweep the floor. We thought, maybe, just maybe, we could get someone to do the cleaning and help out with odd tasks.
We thought wrong.
Ping was lazy as shit. A pitifully poor performer, she couldn’t help talking back at us to defend every screwup (there are times when an apology or keeping her lips sealed would rectify the situation). I wasn’t upset with her inability to perform adequately, it was that cursed mouth of hers. So much so, especially during stressful days, you would find me barking at her like Cujo on a rabid rampage.
In the entire scheme of things, she wasn’t THAT god-awful (Melinda was far worse). On occasion, she’d be the highlight of our discussions as she was one heckuva goofy character. Heck, even mum condemned me for over-exaggerating and fabricating stories to strike up a conversation…mum went as far as calling me a liar!
More often than not, I caught Ping exercising in the back room. She’d have her arms outstretched and legs extended as though she was doing imaginary splits. Just imagine, a 45+ Chinese woman with a spastic attitude attempting some groovy dance moves. YUCK!
It was hysterical. Funny, she wasn’t even embarrassed whenever I walked in on her doing Chinese Pilates. In fact, she had a habit of exercising and dancing around Rich and Tinny. She knew I’d take her head off if I caught her pirouetting by the exam table.
She danced and sang aloud whenever she was sweeping or mopping the floor. Pretending that the broomstick was her dancing partner, she’d spin into little circles in the waiting area. Oh man. Rich was aghast to see her behaving this way. Heck, I even suggested that we slip some Zoloft into her water bottle and to see if the drug could perform miracles on her.
Because her crude mannerisms, she would sweep right over my feet, physically butt Tinny aside when mopping the floor, and shove Rich out-of-the-way when stocking up rolls of exam table paper. Based on her claim that she was phlebotomist in China, she literally stabbed patients when drawing blood. I couldn’t trust her with our administrative tasks, so she had the lightest workload - the bubblebrain knew it too. With time against me, I was unable to delegate duties while she resorted to simple tasks like cleaning and throwing out the trash.
Unfortunately, she had bragged to her posse that she was the ‘head nurse’ in our office. No fricking wonder why she refused to clean the office whenever I asked her. She didn’t want to be perceived as some maid, but her reluctance had me tearing her new assholes each day. Being overwhelmed, I handle stupidity in the only way I knew how – by spewing and spitting verbal garbage in massive quantities.
After my incessant complaining to Rich, he finally dragged her ass into the exam room because she could never change the paper or stock up the lab materials when needed. As the days went by, he started to complain to me about her unprofessional demeanor. Every time he was counseling patients regarding their condition, she’d be in the background agreeing or disagreeing by vigorously nodding or shaking her head. Instead of refilling the sundry jars with tongue depressors, she would whirl and twirl around the phlebotomy chair as well as fixing her hair in the mirror. For example, when Rich advised his patients to increase their intake of calcium, she’d advised them to eat more spinach.
The twirling made him dizzy with anger and the interjections drove him nuts.
We basically counted the days on the calendar for Tina’s arrival. You simply have no idea how erratic this individual is.
Plus, she’d call out on Mondays…our BUSIEST and CRAZIEST days, which is a no-no. Rich would leave early on Fridays catching up on some rest and she’d leave as well. Three times I had to drag her ass back to finish cleaning and point out her lousy effort.
As wacky and inept as she was, we continued to tolerate her stupidity. However, she did the one thing that branded her on our permanent shit list…excessively wasting paper towels and overindulging on the spring water.
Okay, let me dish it to you straight: I am not a cheapskate. I can be pretty frugal at times, but I will not skimp out necessary supplies. Ping was practically going through one entire roll a day.
Now, if she was vigorously cleaning my office from top to bottom, then it would be fine. Of course, this wasn’t the case. Her idea of cleaning was to completely saturate the paper towel with water and wipe. The little towel ball couldn’t clean anything and she’d leave huge water marks on the surface. Mind you, I had already showed her how to clean our office and firmly established what my expectations were. She simply blew me off and went about her way of doing utter bullshit.
Furthermore, she’d washed her hands a thousand times a day. And no, she wasn’t performing surgery or thoroughly cleaning her hands with soap. She’d run them through the water after each individual task and dry her hands off. Technically, her hands aren’t really clean.
With us reprimanding her excessive use appeared to be fanatically absurd…we look like a bunch of schmucks for bitching about it. From the outside, it would seem as though we were cheap assholes who couldn’t spare a paper towel to a poor middle-aged woman who ‘tried her veddy best” to “please us”.
And on top of this, the supply of bottled water was disappearing FAST. Because Tinny and I were on the move non-stop, we didn’t have the chance to drink any of the water stored in the fridge. After one week, I noticed all of the bottles were gone and bitched to Richard for being an inconsiderate hog. Irritated by my finger-pointing, he claimed how he didn’t even have the time of day to drink and assumed we were both guzzling the precious water.
!?!?!?
Turns out that she was inhaling 2-3 bottles per day which explained why she occupied the bathroom so frequently. We always wondered why she spent so much time in the storeroom and again, we’ve resolved the mystery regarding the disappearance of the paper towels. Aiyah…
So…all we got are a few laughs, many headaches, and vindication against those nasty patients when Ping drew their blood.
Like I said, I’m repaying this lifetime with the amount of idiocy from people.
We thought wrong.
Ping was lazy as shit. A pitifully poor performer, she couldn’t help talking back at us to defend every screwup (there are times when an apology or keeping her lips sealed would rectify the situation). I wasn’t upset with her inability to perform adequately, it was that cursed mouth of hers. So much so, especially during stressful days, you would find me barking at her like Cujo on a rabid rampage.
In the entire scheme of things, she wasn’t THAT god-awful (Melinda was far worse). On occasion, she’d be the highlight of our discussions as she was one heckuva goofy character. Heck, even mum condemned me for over-exaggerating and fabricating stories to strike up a conversation…mum went as far as calling me a liar!
More often than not, I caught Ping exercising in the back room. She’d have her arms outstretched and legs extended as though she was doing imaginary splits. Just imagine, a 45+ Chinese woman with a spastic attitude attempting some groovy dance moves. YUCK!
It was hysterical. Funny, she wasn’t even embarrassed whenever I walked in on her doing Chinese Pilates. In fact, she had a habit of exercising and dancing around Rich and Tinny. She knew I’d take her head off if I caught her pirouetting by the exam table.
She danced and sang aloud whenever she was sweeping or mopping the floor. Pretending that the broomstick was her dancing partner, she’d spin into little circles in the waiting area. Oh man. Rich was aghast to see her behaving this way. Heck, I even suggested that we slip some Zoloft into her water bottle and to see if the drug could perform miracles on her.
Because her crude mannerisms, she would sweep right over my feet, physically butt Tinny aside when mopping the floor, and shove Rich out-of-the-way when stocking up rolls of exam table paper. Based on her claim that she was phlebotomist in China, she literally stabbed patients when drawing blood. I couldn’t trust her with our administrative tasks, so she had the lightest workload - the bubblebrain knew it too. With time against me, I was unable to delegate duties while she resorted to simple tasks like cleaning and throwing out the trash.
Unfortunately, she had bragged to her posse that she was the ‘head nurse’ in our office. No fricking wonder why she refused to clean the office whenever I asked her. She didn’t want to be perceived as some maid, but her reluctance had me tearing her new assholes each day. Being overwhelmed, I handle stupidity in the only way I knew how – by spewing and spitting verbal garbage in massive quantities.
After my incessant complaining to Rich, he finally dragged her ass into the exam room because she could never change the paper or stock up the lab materials when needed. As the days went by, he started to complain to me about her unprofessional demeanor. Every time he was counseling patients regarding their condition, she’d be in the background agreeing or disagreeing by vigorously nodding or shaking her head. Instead of refilling the sundry jars with tongue depressors, she would whirl and twirl around the phlebotomy chair as well as fixing her hair in the mirror. For example, when Rich advised his patients to increase their intake of calcium, she’d advised them to eat more spinach.
The twirling made him dizzy with anger and the interjections drove him nuts.
We basically counted the days on the calendar for Tina’s arrival. You simply have no idea how erratic this individual is.
Plus, she’d call out on Mondays…our BUSIEST and CRAZIEST days, which is a no-no. Rich would leave early on Fridays catching up on some rest and she’d leave as well. Three times I had to drag her ass back to finish cleaning and point out her lousy effort.
As wacky and inept as she was, we continued to tolerate her stupidity. However, she did the one thing that branded her on our permanent shit list…excessively wasting paper towels and overindulging on the spring water.
Okay, let me dish it to you straight: I am not a cheapskate. I can be pretty frugal at times, but I will not skimp out necessary supplies. Ping was practically going through one entire roll a day.
Now, if she was vigorously cleaning my office from top to bottom, then it would be fine. Of course, this wasn’t the case. Her idea of cleaning was to completely saturate the paper towel with water and wipe. The little towel ball couldn’t clean anything and she’d leave huge water marks on the surface. Mind you, I had already showed her how to clean our office and firmly established what my expectations were. She simply blew me off and went about her way of doing utter bullshit.
Furthermore, she’d washed her hands a thousand times a day. And no, she wasn’t performing surgery or thoroughly cleaning her hands with soap. She’d run them through the water after each individual task and dry her hands off. Technically, her hands aren’t really clean.
With us reprimanding her excessive use appeared to be fanatically absurd…we look like a bunch of schmucks for bitching about it. From the outside, it would seem as though we were cheap assholes who couldn’t spare a paper towel to a poor middle-aged woman who ‘tried her veddy best” to “please us”.
And on top of this, the supply of bottled water was disappearing FAST. Because Tinny and I were on the move non-stop, we didn’t have the chance to drink any of the water stored in the fridge. After one week, I noticed all of the bottles were gone and bitched to Richard for being an inconsiderate hog. Irritated by my finger-pointing, he claimed how he didn’t even have the time of day to drink and assumed we were both guzzling the precious water.
!?!?!?
Turns out that she was inhaling 2-3 bottles per day which explained why she occupied the bathroom so frequently. We always wondered why she spent so much time in the storeroom and again, we’ve resolved the mystery regarding the disappearance of the paper towels. Aiyah…
So…all we got are a few laughs, many headaches, and vindication against those nasty patients when Ping drew their blood.
Like I said, I’m repaying this lifetime with the amount of idiocy from people.
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When I had the typist job in the psychiatry clinic, one of the medical records girls once brought in her new baby doll - you know, the frightening porcelain collectible kinds advertised in TV guides - and was carrying it around like a baby showing it off. Apparently she collects these and always did this when she got a new addition to a collection. Have you ever seen one of these things up close? They are actually scented with "baby's forehead smell". No stable, sane, happy person would ever have a reason to own one. Some days you just didn't know whether that girl was an employee or a patient.
Totally off topic: one of the fun things about blogs is going back and seeing what you were up to one year ago. You, ma'am, were up to this:
http://lindamah.blogspot.com/2005/06/footnote-day-2-of-uk-travel.html
http://lindamah.blogspot.com/2005/06/footnote-day-2-of-uk-travel.html
Oh drat...you just reminded me that I missed Ching's birthday...again.
I can't believe I was doing all that last year. Now I'm stuck in purgatory with all of these looney bins myself. Although lately, things have been fairly decent because Tina has been unfortunately bestowed with patient dookie. They all like to dump on her since she's the newbie.
I can't believe I was doing all that last year. Now I'm stuck in purgatory with all of these looney bins myself. Although lately, things have been fairly decent because Tina has been unfortunately bestowed with patient dookie. They all like to dump on her since she's the newbie.