...as AJ would say.

Yes, I have come to a sad conclusion that no matter how hard I try, I will always have ONE wacko/idiot/dimwit employed in my office. I need to come to terms that the world is plagued with stupid people and the stories will only get better.

To recap:

There was Grace Sr., the whack job who wanted to mooch off of me. Now that she was awarded with a settlement claim against NYU Downtown for her grievances and pain, she's out to prove her abilities in a more 'wholesome' manner. Yeah, right, whatever the hell that means. This woman was nowhere near her namesake.

Then we had Grace Jr., the Jehovah's Witness. I don't have anything against anyone's religious beliefs (maybe if you're in a cult or Falun Gong - you have got to see some of the wacky stuff they've done...) but I do have issues if you let it overcome your ability to work. Grace took everything literally for word and I had to go the extra mile of coaching her. Instead of telling the caller that the doctor is "unavailable" - because there are those times when you just don't want to be disturbed or talk on the phone - she refused to relay the information and shove the phone up Richard's nose. According to her beliefs, she wasn't allowed to fib. Beautiful. Erm, why do we have receptionists for?

Then came Melinda. OMFG...her irritating behavior was synonymous to buzzing horsefly. Did I ever tell how it makes my skin crawl whenever I'm stuck in a room with a fat, juicy fly? The sound is god-awful! I've even smacked her in the knees a few times because she just couldn't shut the fook up. Incompetent was her middle name.

Then the other two brats were involved with the office "boxer rebellion". If I remember history correctly, it was squashed when western forces brought in arms. Ahhh, Linda's reclamation.

So, to catch up with the day-to-day grind and some of the menial tasks, Rich asked a former babysitter to come in and assist us with miscellaneous work. A few weeks ago, she had approached him for a job and hoped he'd take her in as some medical assistant. According to Ping, she was a phlebotomist in China.

Oh gawd. She's thrown my office into a crazy spin in the past few weeks. I've even screamed at her a few times already. It takes a lot to have me scream a staff member in the office. I dare not to embarrass them in front of the patients, pharmaceutical reps, or even Tinny. But this one's a real riot.

Having an easy life in China, Ping can't pull her weight in our office. Everything she does for me, damages something. She lacks the thoroughness, the deftness, or even the eagerness to work. All she wants to do is take my kid out to the park and play with her.

It's just too easy. I can't even have her rubber stamp insurance forms because they'll either appear upside down or sideways. She can't even do a task w/o talking back at me. As incompetent as she is, she's good for little things and stupid shit no one has time for. Ultimately, I find it absurd for me to hound her to clean the office. Cleaning is second to the lowest level of the menial jobs and this one can't even do it right. Whenever she talks back at me, I begin a tirade in a broken Chinese where the patients see me as some crazed bi-otch.

Why do I get so worked when she screws up? Simple. She visited my mum a few weeks ago, thanking her for the employment opportunity. However, she had the NERVE to say that the job was SO SIMPLE that an elderly woman like mum (she's 70), could wing it.

#@$!$#@%!%$#%@#$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mum could do FAR better. The statement, to me, is SUCH an insult. She can't even get me a cup of Iced Coffee at the local Chinese bakery w/o screwing it up.

So...after my long slumber into tomorrow, I will blog about some of the zany mishaps. Some good, some hysterical.

Plagued by stupid people...I am now repaying my karmic debt in this lifetime.