And It Comes to a Very Low High
There’s not a whopping load going on right now. Stuff came and went…none of which seemed blogworthy. I did, however, found myself in a potentially foul mix of fecal matter and excessive flatulence garnished with a sprig of evil gossip at Mikayla’s school.
And to think...high school ended nearly 2 decades ago.
For the entire year, I have done my best to avoid parents (nice or not), the fking fat cow, and those dim-witted kindergarten lepers better known as the ‘teachers’. I waged small battles with the mooing principal to prove my point. It’s not so much about winning, but highlighting the ugly facts.
Here I am, under the high cloud of presumption, that the final days are approaching and breathed a sigh of relief.
I did it too early.
A week before graduation, one of my daughter’s classmates, was viciously attacked with a sharp pencil by the shortest boy in the class. The little punk was on my No. 1 shit list of children in her class – undisciplined, disrespectful, and had an uncanny knack for lying. To make a long story short, the runt practically graffitied the other kid’s face, Cory. Needless to say, the Cory’s parents were outraged over the inadequate responses from teachers and principal. They neglected to take proper action in documenting the incident, disciplining the troubled child, and immediately notifying the injuries to the parents.
It was hell.
I, for one, was appalled to hear the story from the mouth of my six-year-old child. The graphic nature as described by Mikayla could actually curdle your blood – kids give their versions unprecedented and unabridged. I was glad to hear how Cory's mother verbally ripped this child new buttholes while the Assistant Teacher sat and said nothing. Nada. Zip.
Talk about having your child in a safe and a protective environment.
I happen to be very good buddies with Cory’s parents (the dad thinks I’m blunt riot, while the mum wishes Miki was her kid since she’s got two boys) and have spoken to him on numerous occasions throughout the year. I guess the real reason why people call me up is for damage control. Apparently, I have this unusual ability to identify holes in stories and seem to bring up the right points or questions leading to the next steps.
I'm close enough to Cory's parents that I’m well aware of their financial status and how they constantly face scrutiny of those assholian parents who ruthlessly flaunt their so-called "status". Unfortunately, Miki’s school has now become a nasty battleground between made-up social classes which I adamantly refuse to choose sides. If anything, I’d settle with those in the blue collar category – the parents aren’t superficial, they don’t get stupid with you, and best of all, they mind their own beeswax. Plus...it's where I came from.
This is what I meant about being sucked into those cliques. In fact, I formed my own clique – only those who are Americanized and don't own a Chinatown business (HAH! Sophia’s mom got a great laugh outta that one! Yes, I'm being ironic!). Then again, I’m a hard read. People have tried to schmooze over to me based on what Miki’s father does for a living. Because of this, I morph myself into an exponential SNOB. Quite frankly, if you didn’t make it from an academic standpoint (college-wise); then, beat it.
This, of course, is a learned behavior. Coincidentally, the kids of Miki’s pediatrician used to attend the same school. His wife, Rebecca, managed to spurn a number of moms over money matters - especially since these frigid asswipes believe she should’ve foot the entire birthday bill 'cuz she’s a doctor’s wife – NOT. Rebecca had always been congenial and extremely polite with me, but I did notice how obviously snooty she was when she outright ignored thes bi-otches. Then it hit me - she’s manipulating her husband’s status by rubbing it up to their noses. Her actions basically say - it’s not how much money you’ve got, it’s the fact that you’re an uneducated pig and you don’t belong in the same rank as me.
Owch…but it’s one good way to keep the vermin off of ya. Why must I dabble in this bullshit?
Well, for one, people are trying to smother me into it. It’s one thing if I’m ASKING for it…it’s another when I'm stuck in my office literally minding my own business. Camille had warned me earlier this year about a certain couple, so I’ve been taking extra measures to surely avoid them. And hell, they’ve REALLY crossed the line with me.
The mum approached me about the year-end cash contribution for the lepers (I was part of the infamous crowd of folks who were branded as being too ‘cheap’ to donate to our "beloved" lepers - oh I mean, teachers during Xmas) when I was busy chatting with Cory’s dad over his son's horrific incident. I shooed her away because I didn't want her listening in our juicy conversation nor did I really give a rat's ass about this collection.
On Sunday, the skank hit up my husband for the funds during the Father’s Day soccer game. Whatever. She figured she could circumvent me by going directly to Rich. Whatever...it's only 30 bucks and as long as it didn't come out of my wallet, I don't really care.
But that’s not what pissed me off…it’s what she SAID to him that infuriated me to no tomorrow. She blatantly indicated that everyone in the class has contributed to the stupid gift except for Cory’s dad.
WHAT?!
WTF does any parent's lack of contribution has anything to do with US, huh? To be exact, Camille didn’t contribute yet, nor did a few other parents. What kind of bullshit was she trying to pull here? OMFG…I was FUMING when I heard about it…I adore Cory’s parents and I couldn’t believe the horseshit that was oozing from this dwarfish and mousy-looking woman. This was it...she's on my permanent shit list for the next 8 years of my kid's academic career.
A few days earlier, we received an invitation to her daughter’s birthday party. Undoubtedly, I didn’t bother taking Mikayla and talked her out of attending. She wasn’t happy, but I quickly compensated my little one with a trip to her cousin Emily’s house. OH YEAH! EVEN BETTER!!!
So…come 2007, Mikayla will be having a birthday party and I’ll make sure the invitation doesn’t extend to these shit-faced folks. Heck, I’m willing to forgo a Prada bag and spend some money just to piss them off.
Okay, so I’m a little bit psycho…but it's only when people drag me into their dirty garbage.
And to think...high school ended nearly 2 decades ago.
For the entire year, I have done my best to avoid parents (nice or not), the fking fat cow, and those dim-witted kindergarten lepers better known as the ‘teachers’. I waged small battles with the mooing principal to prove my point. It’s not so much about winning, but highlighting the ugly facts.
Here I am, under the high cloud of presumption, that the final days are approaching and breathed a sigh of relief.
I did it too early.
A week before graduation, one of my daughter’s classmates, was viciously attacked with a sharp pencil by the shortest boy in the class. The little punk was on my No. 1 shit list of children in her class – undisciplined, disrespectful, and had an uncanny knack for lying. To make a long story short, the runt practically graffitied the other kid’s face, Cory. Needless to say, the Cory’s parents were outraged over the inadequate responses from teachers and principal. They neglected to take proper action in documenting the incident, disciplining the troubled child, and immediately notifying the injuries to the parents.
It was hell.
I, for one, was appalled to hear the story from the mouth of my six-year-old child. The graphic nature as described by Mikayla could actually curdle your blood – kids give their versions unprecedented and unabridged. I was glad to hear how Cory's mother verbally ripped this child new buttholes while the Assistant Teacher sat and said nothing. Nada. Zip.
Talk about having your child in a safe and a protective environment.
I happen to be very good buddies with Cory’s parents (the dad thinks I’m blunt riot, while the mum wishes Miki was her kid since she’s got two boys) and have spoken to him on numerous occasions throughout the year. I guess the real reason why people call me up is for damage control. Apparently, I have this unusual ability to identify holes in stories and seem to bring up the right points or questions leading to the next steps.
I'm close enough to Cory's parents that I’m well aware of their financial status and how they constantly face scrutiny of those assholian parents who ruthlessly flaunt their so-called "status". Unfortunately, Miki’s school has now become a nasty battleground between made-up social classes which I adamantly refuse to choose sides. If anything, I’d settle with those in the blue collar category – the parents aren’t superficial, they don’t get stupid with you, and best of all, they mind their own beeswax. Plus...it's where I came from.
This is what I meant about being sucked into those cliques. In fact, I formed my own clique – only those who are Americanized and don't own a Chinatown business (HAH! Sophia’s mom got a great laugh outta that one! Yes, I'm being ironic!). Then again, I’m a hard read. People have tried to schmooze over to me based on what Miki’s father does for a living. Because of this, I morph myself into an exponential SNOB. Quite frankly, if you didn’t make it from an academic standpoint (college-wise); then, beat it.
This, of course, is a learned behavior. Coincidentally, the kids of Miki’s pediatrician used to attend the same school. His wife, Rebecca, managed to spurn a number of moms over money matters - especially since these frigid asswipes believe she should’ve foot the entire birthday bill 'cuz she’s a doctor’s wife – NOT. Rebecca had always been congenial and extremely polite with me, but I did notice how obviously snooty she was when she outright ignored thes bi-otches. Then it hit me - she’s manipulating her husband’s status by rubbing it up to their noses. Her actions basically say - it’s not how much money you’ve got, it’s the fact that you’re an uneducated pig and you don’t belong in the same rank as me.
Owch…but it’s one good way to keep the vermin off of ya. Why must I dabble in this bullshit?
Well, for one, people are trying to smother me into it. It’s one thing if I’m ASKING for it…it’s another when I'm stuck in my office literally minding my own business. Camille had warned me earlier this year about a certain couple, so I’ve been taking extra measures to surely avoid them. And hell, they’ve REALLY crossed the line with me.
The mum approached me about the year-end cash contribution for the lepers (I was part of the infamous crowd of folks who were branded as being too ‘cheap’ to donate to our "beloved" lepers - oh I mean, teachers during Xmas) when I was busy chatting with Cory’s dad over his son's horrific incident. I shooed her away because I didn't want her listening in our juicy conversation nor did I really give a rat's ass about this collection.
On Sunday, the skank hit up my husband for the funds during the Father’s Day soccer game. Whatever. She figured she could circumvent me by going directly to Rich. Whatever...it's only 30 bucks and as long as it didn't come out of my wallet, I don't really care.
But that’s not what pissed me off…it’s what she SAID to him that infuriated me to no tomorrow. She blatantly indicated that everyone in the class has contributed to the stupid gift except for Cory’s dad.
WHAT?!
WTF does any parent's lack of contribution has anything to do with US, huh? To be exact, Camille didn’t contribute yet, nor did a few other parents. What kind of bullshit was she trying to pull here? OMFG…I was FUMING when I heard about it…I adore Cory’s parents and I couldn’t believe the horseshit that was oozing from this dwarfish and mousy-looking woman. This was it...she's on my permanent shit list for the next 8 years of my kid's academic career.
A few days earlier, we received an invitation to her daughter’s birthday party. Undoubtedly, I didn’t bother taking Mikayla and talked her out of attending. She wasn’t happy, but I quickly compensated my little one with a trip to her cousin Emily’s house. OH YEAH! EVEN BETTER!!!
So…come 2007, Mikayla will be having a birthday party and I’ll make sure the invitation doesn’t extend to these shit-faced folks. Heck, I’m willing to forgo a Prada bag and spend some money just to piss them off.
Okay, so I’m a little bit psycho…but it's only when people drag me into their dirty garbage.
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Keep in mind that you choose to live in New York City. As long as you do, you are going to encounter parents like that. People always use their kids as a lever, whether it's for social acceptance or a backstage pass.
I'm reminded of the joke about one of the maternity hospitals in DC - it has a special setup which allows the newborn to be passed from the mother to the midwife and then directly through a window in the wall to the nanny.
But I digress.
I'm reminded of the joke about one of the maternity hospitals in DC - it has a special setup which allows the newborn to be passed from the mother to the midwife and then directly through a window in the wall to the nanny.
But I digress.
Now that you've mentioned it, I completely forgotten about the comment some silly TFF superfan made about me trying to bait Curt with Mikayla at the Today Show. Bait. Give me a break...was I supposed to leave my child alone at home while I attend the summer concert series?!
I keep forgetting how people use their kids to get around...must be my mom's doing.
I keep forgetting how people use their kids to get around...must be my mom's doing.